If I came over to your house, and you told me you were thinking about changing your wallpaper…and I happened to notice that there were hundreds of pounds of feces on the floor…I might suggest a different priority than getting rid of the outdated yellow and white stripes.

But perhaps the acclimated citizens of San Francisco might be jazzed about the trip to JOANN.

In July of last year, the city’s Board of Supervisors looked into banning straws. A year later, it was done.

In August, the city’s airport banned plastic water bottle sales.

I guess dehydration’s better than an environmental apocalypse.

Or is it?

Regardless, in a city that’s overrun with human waste, businesses are now 86’ing their paper cups.

From Fox Business:

A growing number of coffee houses in San Francisco are banishing paper to-go cups…

It began with a whisper:

What started as a small trend among neighborhood cafes to reduce waste is gaining support from some big names in the city’s food and coffee world.

Hey, San Fran: Turds have taken the place of Rice-A-Roni; people need those cups — to poop in.

Nevertheless, they’re being taken away. 

Famed chef Dominique Crenn — owner of the Michelin restaurant Atelier — loves the idea. In fact, he’s opening a new cafe that will provide no to-go bags or disposable to-go cups. 

What a great selling point.

Wanna take one to-go at Boutique Crenn? Spokeswoman Kate Bittman says bring your own cup.

Going larger, the Blue Bottle chain will cease paper cup use at two City-by-the-Bay locations as part of its “Zero Waste” pledge.

So what alternatives are there? 

At Blue Bottle, customers who don’t bring their own mug can pay a deposit — likely to be between $3 and $5 — for a cup they can keep or return for a refund. 

Otherwise, as Fox put it:

[A number of places are] replacing [cups] with everything from glass jars to rental mugs and BYO cup policies.

Glass jars: Progress.

If you ask me, the cafes might snag a much bigger win if they continue offering cups but include a message: “When you’re done with this cup, please use it to cover one pile of crap you pass on the sidewalk.” #CupTheNewSanFranciscoTreat.

-ALEX

See 3 more pieces from me:

YOU HAVE TO SEE IT: Data Company Creates Brown-Pinned San Francisco Poop Map in Honor of 118,352 Piles Reported

In Order to Save the Planet, President Jair Bolsonaro Asks Brazilians to Hold in Every Bowel Movement for Two Days

Woke Collision: San Fran Homeless Advocates Go to War with Gay Sushi Restaurant Over a Rock Where a Body Should Be

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