Just in time for snowswimming.
The innovative folks over at Nike released their new line of swimsuits Tuesday, the triumphant Victory Swim Collection.
In the promotional video, a woman claims that the new full-body suit makes her feel “like a superhero.”
It’s transcendent, and in no way just for followers of Islam. Just ask ’em:
“This suit is gonna take us to a different level, because it’s not even just Muslim women, it’s a lot of women who are modest, as well.”
I’m all for that idea — who says women have to swim in what’s essentially their bras and panties?
Although, perhaps even modest women might prefer not to dress in a way that would get them eaten as a seal while dipping into the Atlantic.
Nevertheless, one swimmer beams, “I feel super light.”
…That could be because a shark just bit off your leg.
But superheroes are stronger than sharks:
“I’m not even gonna lie. I feel like a superhero.”
Captions explain the collection’s components, which are in no way particularly Muslim:
“The collection, which includes the Nike Victory Full-Coverage Swimsuit along with swim separate options — the Nike Victory Swim Hijab, the Nike Victory Swim Tunic Top and the Nike Victory Swim Leggings — brings performance innovation to modest swimwear.”
Somehow, the Hijab for non-Muslim modest chicks and other goodies defy gravity — a statement on the official website hails a “freedom of weightlessness.”
Nike introduces new line of sports hijab for Muslim female athletes https://t.co/23icreh05I pic.twitter.com/ztZDIFeFtT
— philip lewis (@Phil_Lewis_) March 7, 2017
Right — for a real freakout, jump into a pool fully clothed and note the weightlessness of it all. Suddenly, here’s you:
On top of that, the baggy wetsuit and head-covering are athletic:
“Its sleek, innovative silhouette provide a game-changing option for female athletes seeking full coverage and full range of motion in the water.”
But it’s also about diversity. And the Swoosh is servicing the needs of female athletes:
“As designers continued learning from athletes across diverse communities, they saw a striking gap in apparel for water sports — specifically, a lack of options for female athletes who don’t want to choose between modesty and movement with comfort and confidence. Existing products were lacking in either coverage or functionality, athletes shared, leaving them feeling weighted down by baggy garments, battling drag instead of striving toward personal bests or worrying about whether their hijabs and coverings would remain in place.”
The swimsuit revolution begins February 1st. At “some retailers in California, New York City, London, and Dubai.”
Get your game on, and perhaps one day the pool will be so diverse that everyone in it will be covered from head to toe with the exact same black peejays.
Like a superhero slumber party.
Swim on, Olympians.
-ALEX
See 3 more pieces from me:
War on Christmas? Now There’s a War on Christmas Sweaters. And It’s the End for Us All
Joe Biden Says He’s Considering Kamala as His Running Mate. But Will He Get Confused and Blow It?
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