So where’s the culture headed? For 20-year-old Tory Ojeda — unlike thousands of environmentally-minded youngsters who’ve pledged never to make the leap (here) — it’s motherhood.
The Jacksonville, Florida mom-to-be’s psyched about the addition to her family; but even though it’s her first rug rat, her household’s already pretty full — Tory’s a practitioner of polyamory.
Cupid struck — and struck, and struck, and struck — starting three years ago.
Tory hooked up with Marc, now 18, in high school. Two months afterward, she let in Travis, who’s 23.
She’s engaged to Trav.
After him, she invited 22-year-old Ethan. Same-aged Christopher tops ’em off.
Three of Tory’s lovers live with her, and all four lucky lads sleep with her at night — they just have to make like volleyball and rotate.
In the animal kingdom, there’s a general rule of thumb: An unlimited number of females can cohabitate, but there can only be one male among them. Otherwise, those testosterone’d Terminators will fight to the death.
But humanity is evolving.
Dear beta males:
— Kennedy (@kp__copeland) May 1, 2018
There’s no time for competition at the Ojeda house — after all, a baby’s coming.
Fiancé Travis is about to be a dad, but he’s not the biological father.
Tory explains to Barcroft.tv:
“Chris is the biological father. We just know that because of timing and when the approximate conception date was.”
“[A]s far as, I guess, socially goes, we’re all raising the baby together, so everyone’s dad. We’re all very, very excited to be raising a baby together.”
Christopher grew up with the old school notion of couples, but he figures it’ll all work out:
“It’s definitely a little interesting. I grew up with the idea of you know, one dad, one [mom]. But there is a lot of support between all of us dads, and it’s something we can tag team.”
And what’s a family without a sense of humor?
“We always joke about the idea of getting stuck in an endless loop of go ask your dad.”
Still, the queen of the quartet admits not everyone’s on board:
“Most of my friends know all my partners and they love us and think that we’re cute and such. My family is kind of quiet about their disapproval. … A lot of people have grown up in monogamy culture of, you don’t really love someone if you have eyes for somebody else.”
Christopher’s mother originally thought he should be man enough:
“My family is slowly coming around to the idea. The pregnancy has helped with that. But at the very beginning, I know my mother and father were hesitant about it. Her main concern was that she didn’t like the idea of me having a partner who was not fulfilled with me alone.”
Tory’s biological sister, Alistair — who identifies as her brother — is looking out:
“I will admit that, since I’m her older brother, that I just have that tendency, I suppose, to be protective.
She was taken aback by the baby news, but now she’s sittin’ on go:
“I wasn’t expecting the pregnancy announcement. That one was a little bit of a shocker for me as, you know, the protective older brother. I was like, ‘Oh, you’re so young.’ … But now, since then, it’s really exciting. I’m very excited to meet my niece. ‘It takes a village to raise a child’ and all that.”
As for the multiple men, Alistair’s cool with it. To her, it’s about everything being even:
“I’m more so concerned that she’s happy, that she is in a relationship where they both love each other mutually, or in this case, more people love each other mutually.”
The non-monogamous mama reckons she should have more babies down the line. Sounds like they’ll all be together forever:
“We would definitely like to have more kids down the line. With there being five adults in the household, we should probably have more than one kid.”
And Tory looks forward to the whole setup growing in popularity:
“I’ve been called a ho more than once. Maybe in our future, we might see it become a common thing where people don’t bat an eye on it anymore at all. One can hope.”
Yes they can.
But if the whole crew breaks up, there’s still chance part of the family will stay intact — Travis says he might be up for dating one of the guys:
“I don’t really know, to be honest. I guess I’d be, ‘I’m open to it,’ but I’m not gonna go after it. I know Ethan and I kinda sorta tried back in high school, and that kind of flopped really fast.”
So goes the modern family.
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