A Florida Man Gets Arrested for Meth, Smuggles More into Jail in a Most Original - and Seemingly Impossible - Way

[Screenshot from New York Daily News via Twitter, https://twitter.com/NYDailyNews/status/1196919362516594688]
[Screenshot from New York Daily News via Twitter, https://twitter.com/NYDailyNews/status/1196919362516594688]


Meth is a big problem.

How do I know? Because I’ve observed where people are willing to put it in order to hold on to it:


See for yourself:

Arkansas Woman Tells Cops She Had No Idea Her Hair Bow was a Bag of Crystal Meth: ‘I Didn’t Know That was There’

Louisiana Woman Accused of Theft Tells Cops She Has No Idea How the Meth & Money Got There – in Her Vagina

And in Florida, full-figured man Martin Skelly found a way to turn a minus into a plus.

‘Til he got arrested.

Dang it — back to minus.

The 41-year-old was apprehended by investigators who found him at a Clearwater McDonald’s with a 28-gauge needle.

The charges: drug paraphernalia and methamphetamine possession.

As reported by The Smoking Gun, before booking him, cops asked Martin if he had any more drugs on him — if they were found once he was in jail, there could be further charges.

The prisoner made it clear: He was clean as a whistleblower.

But upon a search, as per a court affidavit, “a small bag of crystal powder substance” was found in the 5’8″, 380-pound man’s orifice.

I’m talking, of course, about his belly button.

And what a cavernous compartment it must be.

From TSG:

Skelly was subjected to a thorough body search that resulted in the discovery of a small plastic bag containing 2.7 grams of meth.


He explained the oversight as a simple case of being “dumb and not thinking.”

The result: two additional felony charges for introducing contraband into a correctional facility and narcotics possession.

I’ll give him credit: Martin Belly Skelly has ingenuity. Must’ve been inspired by a kangaroo.

Or perhaps the meth made him believe he was one.

Unfortunately, he ended up in kangaroo court.



Relevant RedState links in this article: here and here.

See 3 more pieces from me:

Louisiana Man Reports Being Shot at, Directs Cops to the Scene. But He Fails to Consider One Extremely Important Detail

Seattle Public Education Posts Its White-Privilege ‘Math Ethnic Studies Framework,’ and It Just May Blow Your Mind

NFL Star Gets Fined for His ‘Man of God’ Headband, Takes the Opportunity to Raise Thousands for Charity and ‘Glorify God’

Find all my RedState work here.

And please follow Alex Parker on Twitter and Facebook.

Thank you for reading! Please sound off in the Comments section below. 



Join the conversation as a VIP Member

Trending on RedState Videos