A Woman in Florida Gets Arrested for Jealous Biting, the World Gets a Little Bit Crazier, and Beto's Got His Work Cut Out for Him

Some people wanna take a bite out of crime.

Others wanna do the opposite.

If you keep up with the political news of the day — and especially as we find ourselves in the midst of Impeachment Mania — the whole world can seem like a circus.

There’s a breakdown occurring, in government, culture, society.

It all starts at home, and home starts with relationships.

How can we build a better world if we can’t get along with those to whom we’re most close?

In Florida, a woman’s facing a sizable bond after not being able to make it work with her boyfriend.

33-year-old Esperanza Gomez threatened her beau with a knife after a drinking session gone wrong in the wee hours of Wednesday morning.

The two were tossing ’em back in Miami Beach when a female friend joined in.

As reported by the New York Post, the friend left after a short time, but Esperanza became enraged after suspecting her man wanted to partake in fleshly delights with their temporary whistle-wetting guest.

Allegedly, she grabbed him by the arms, shouted at him, and “began to poke him with a knife.”

He threatened to call the police if she didn’t stop.

When cops arrived, they indeed found red marks all over his upper chest.

But perhaps the most egregious injury was one of a more animalistic sort.

From NBC2:

When [law enforcement] arrived, he also reported that his girlfriend “bit his penis out of frustration.”

You know — sometimes you just get frustrated.

Esperanza was arrested for assault with a deadly weapon. Due in part to her maiming his manpart with mastication, she was additionally charged with battery.

Her bond was set at $6,500.

It seems to me that by adulthood, people should’ve exited their biting phase.

But not so, apparently, as just this week, another clamp of the choppers occurred at a Proud Boys Veteran’s Day flag wave rally in Oregon.

Per Elizabeth Vaughn’s coverage:

[Patriot and MMA world champion Tara LaRosa’s] smile quickly turns into concern at she notices [two women arguing]. “Hey.” Reminiscent of Charles Bronson’s character in the 1970s movie, Mr. Majestyk, in which the people who mess with him don’t realize he’s a former Army Ranger School drill sergeant until it’s too late, LaRosa springs into action. In about a nano-second, she broke up the fight, pinned the [agitating left-wing, self-described professor] to the ground in a non-life threatening Jujitsu hold and yelled for someone to call the police. Angry and agitated, the professor bit LaRosa’s breast leaving an open wound.

As the British have realized with knives — and as also illustrated by Esperanza — the serrated suppertime support can make for a wicked weapon. Hence, the UK’s instituted a sharp-edge-dull-edge cutlery trade-in program for domestic abuse victims (here) and gifted the citizenry with knife-free chicken (here).

Given the week’s events, we’re even luckier than before that threat-neutralizing, confiscating Beto O’Rourke dropped out of the race.

He might’ve otherwise come for your butter knives. Or — even worse — planned to go door-to-door with a dentistry kit, ready to excise your weapons of war.

But in his case, just as with his vowed war on wealth as he sits atop millions, he’d be quite the armed hypocrite: