The Woke Set Sail for Inclusive Island: Halloween Costumes Are Already Being Banned at Schools and Universities



Well, it’s that time of year again.

I’m not talking about Halloween; I mean it’s when people start getting offended by dressup and routinely decide that certain races of people own ideas because other people from those same races once had them.


All this is inspiring me to claim the public domain royalties of all literary authors of my same race — those are my peeps’ ideas; no one else can have them unless they send me a check.

But while I’m working on how to enforce that, I’ll tell ya about an elementary school in Evanston, Illinois. Lincoln Elementary announced there will be no Halloween there because kids who don’t celebrate it might be offended.

From Principal Michelle Cooney (grab your umbrella; it’s about to rain Woke):

“As part of our school and district-wide commitment to equity, we are focused on building community and creating inclusive, welcoming environments for all. While we recognize that Halloween is a fun tradition for many families, it is not a holiday that is celebrated by all members of our school community and for various reasons.”

How are they welcoming the people who want to celebrate Halloween?

Next, we have Wisconsin’s Monona Grove School Disrict, where “the reality is that the celebration of Halloween at school leads to student exclusion,” according to officials.

“There are social, financial, and cultural differences among our families that we respect. While we recognize that Halloween is a fun tradition for many families, there are also inequities in how we have traditionally observed the holiday as part of our school day. Whether or not this has been your experience or your student’s experience, our goal is to provide space and opportunities for all students to be part of our school community.”


I ask again: What about including the people who want to celebrate Halloween?

It’s simple:

You’ve got one group that wants to celebrate it, and one group that doesn’t; how does going with the group that doesn’t accomplish “equity”? You’ve lost that battle no matter which way you choose. Neither gang is “inclusive” of the other.

Therefore, it seems to me, you should go with whoever’s the majority. That provides the most satisfaction to the most people.

That would be — by definition — politically correct.

Let’s move on up to the big boys, shall we?

At Michigan State University, there’s been a release of rules, courtesy of posters across campus.

They request that students ask themselves whether their getups are based on anything ethnic, cultural, or racial.

Doesn’t that pretty much exclude everything but aliens and monsters?

Too bad — ya know that outfit you put on? It ain’t an outfit; it’s a “life.”

The posters proclaim, “These are people’s lives…they are not stereotypes.”

Apparently, your apparel belongs to someone other than you, so you can’t have it.

The warnings inquire:

“How would you feel if someone turned you into a costume?”

Have these people ever been told what costumes are?

MSU wanted to differentiate between cultural appropriation and cultural appreciation, so it offered this:


“[Appropriation is] used to describe Western appropriations of non-Western or non-white forms.”

And furthermore, it “carries the connotation of exploitation and dominance.”

So there ya go. Those clothes you’ve got on — if you’re white, they could be appropriation. In fact, everything could be. Get nekkid before you flaunt your dominance!

And as for your culture, you ain’t got nothin’ — all the posters are in English, but y’all imperialists get zero credit.

The rest can culturally appropriate you ’til the cows come home, suckers.

Still, you’ve gotta be careful in Michigan — you never know when you might run afoul of an inclusive imperative.

Just take a look at this article about Eastern Michigan University:

‘The Vagina Monologues’ Canceled At University Because It Doesn’t Include Women Without Vaginas



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