Ever get mad at a judge?
Dorleans Philidor did, too.
Ever throw feces at a judge while you’re in court?
Y’all have somethin’ else in common!
The 33-year-old was sitting in his wheelchair before the scales of justice Friday on account of him gettin’ charged with burglary.
And he thought it was a cool idea to do his best Clayton Kershaw with a handful of excrement aimed at the strike zone of one Lisa Walsh, Miami-Dade circuit judge.
While pitchin’ the poop, he yelled, “It’s protein! It’s good for you!”
Like protein powder? Protein pooter?
The mound missed Lisa, and the bailiff yelled for her to skedaddle. Cops rushed in.
As recounted to the Miami Herald by witness Allen Rios:
“It was intense. The corrections officers and police officers were swarming. Like 60 of them. They told everyone to leave and you couldn’t go back in. It was a hazardous area.”
They closed the courtroom for cleaning, and Lisa moved the closing arguments to another courthouse.
Upon resuming, jurors found Dorleans not guilty of burglary.
Unfortunately for him, he’ll still be residin’ behind bars due to a separate grand theft auto case.
Charges remain to be filed for his crap crime.
And it was indeed his: A day earlier, according to public relations director Eunice Sigler, Dorleans defecated on himself and smeared it all over the walls of his holding cell next to the courtroom. Oh — and on himself. The whole second floor had to be closed.
That stunt resulted in a mental evaluation; a doctor determined he was well enough to attend Friday’s trial. Guess that doctor…stinks.
Why would the accused do something so incendiary in court, if he was — and this is assuming the jury was correct — not guilty?
Oh well; I guess that’s Dorleans Philidor for ya.
Oh, and one last thing: During the corny courtroom protein protest, he also ate some of his doodoo.
Mentally well, indeed.
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