Feminist Rages Against GirlPal 'Galentine's Day,' Says No Women Are Lonely, Praises Group Vomiting



Ever heard of Galentine’s Day? It’s today — February 13th.

G-Day’s a celebration of girls’ girlfriends. Pretty persons’ platonic perfumed pals. Womens’ wolfpacks. And other same-consonant descriptions.


The holiday was birthed via a 2010 episode of the popular TV program Parks and Recreation. Amy Poehler’s character, Leslie Knope, explained:

“Oh, it’s only the best day of the year. Every February 13th, my lady friends and I leave our husbands and our boyfriends at home, and we just come and kick it, breakfast-style. Ladies celebrating ladies.”

Sounds nice. Like brunch.

But sadly, a fun way for girls to celebrate their friendships has become that worst of all SJW words: problematic.


On Wednesday, feminist Insider writer Rachel Hosie hosed the idea:

Whilst the uninitiated may make an educated guess that this term refers to a celebration for single women on February 14, Galentine’s Day actually takes place the day before, on February 13.

Note to all: Please, never use the word “whilst.”


Sure, it’s a lovely sentiment in theory. But this new holiday has now evolved into a commercialized beast that patronizes single women.

The idea of Galentine’s Day sends the message that women in relationships need to spend the day before Valentine’s Day with their single girlfriends to check we’re OK and are not going to fall into a pit of despair when February 14 rolls around.

Rachel’s totally anti-Mr. T:

Actually, we don’t need your pity — and the whole concept perpetuates the ridiculous myth of the sad, single woman.

The ridiculous myth?? How is it a myth, and how is it ridiculous? Men want women, and women want men; that’s why we have February 14th (for more on that, see a novel way of celebrating your last breakup here). Thursday’s gonna find some people without dates; some portion of those will have ovaries; and some of those are gonna be none too thrilled.


Oh, wait — I forgot; this is 2019. Okay…women aren’t women and men aren’t men and women don’t have to be like men or women, and there are no men or women (here), and some women are women who are also like men, and some women are men and some women like women who are actually men but still not (here), and men who aren’t women but say they’re women are women and yet aren’t women because they do (not) have a vagina (here), and some women are women without vaginas (here), and if you suggest otherwise, you should just shut the crap up you cruel disaffected b*st*rd.


Back to Rach:

When will companies stop trying to flog “sassy” wares at single women like we’re desperate and need to buy everything possible to avoid crumbling under the crushing weight of our single status?

You may not hear it that often, but being single is actually fantastic.

Society will try and tell you it’s tragic to spend the evening of February 14 going to a gym class then flopping on to the sofa with a tub of ice cream for company (Bridget Jones did not do wonders for the image of single women), but personally, I can’t think of a better way to spend an evening.

Nicely done.

But here it comes:

There’s no joy quite like being able to put yourself first and do exactly what you want.

Consider that statement for a moment. Is that where we are as a society? Is that the reason for this and this?

Rachel’s statement goes against the common moral wisdom of thousands of years. It indicates no understanding of romance, togetherness, family, parenthood, or other components that give meaning to life. For gals. And even guys.


[I say…as I sit here by myself with coffee and Hershey’s kisses.]

But don’t look at me. This is about Rachel:

Being single also doesn’t mean you can’t be happy for your friends who are in relationships — let them have their day of fake, forced, pressurised romance. We’re fine — and we certainly don’t need an equivalent.

It says everything that there isn’t a Galentine’s equivalent for men — and I don’t just mean because “Guylentine’s,” “Boylentine’s,” and “Manlentine’s” all sound stupid.

Society celebrates single men, whereas single women are pitied. Bachelors vs spinsters. James Bond vs Bridget Jones.

What’s REAL girl-to-girl friendship? Rachel lays it out:

We celebrate female friendship all year round — it’s the fleeting but incredibly strong bond you make with fellow drunk women in the toilets of a bar, the pre-date Whatsapp pep talks, and the evenings spent eating too much pizza and unbuttoning your trousers to let your food baby free together.

She concludes:

But let’s just skip the pitiful day of forced friendship that is Galentine’s Day.

And why?

It’s a sexist concept that has now been entirely commercialized.

Well there ya go. Fight the power, DrunkToiletFriends.

Meanwhile, Leslie Knope holds to GirlGangs: “Uteruses before Duderuses. Ovaries before brovaries.”



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