DUMBEST POSSIBLE: California Legislature Bans He/She Pronouns

 

 

California’s legislature has a new style.

Ever seen a doll naked? Well, from now on, that’s how people look, too. At least it is, according to Senate Judiciary Committee Chair Hannah-Beth Jackson. The state politician announced Thursday that only “gender neutral” pronouns will be allowed during committee hearings.

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So if you’re elected to the Golden State’s senate, suddenly you’ve got the same genitals as a Cabbage Patch Kid.

You doll, you!

Hannah-Beth dumbed it up real good:

“Our first order of business is to approve the committee rules. I’d like to note: In respecting the fact that we are now a state recognizing the non-binary designation as a gender, “he” and “she” — we are now merging them so we are using what my grammar teacher would have had a heart attack over: We are using the phrase ‘they’ and replacing other designations, so it’s a gender neutral designation: ‘they.’ Basically, that’s the primary reforms and revisions to the committee rules.”

If she thinks her grammar teacher woulda had a coronary, imagine the effect on her science teacher.

She then corrected the official record:

“In the spirit of gender neutrality for the rules of this committee, we now designate the chair as ‘they.'”

She continued with a pronouncement of world change:

“The world is a different place. My grammar teacher is long gone, and we won’t be hearing from her — from them! From they!”

Is it just me, or is her obsession with the death of her grammar teacher disturbing?

Of course, in reality, the natural world hasn’t changed; if it had, Hannah-Beth’s declaration wouldn’t be newsworthy. In the real world, there are still only two sexes. Anything else is just marketing. You’re welcome to market yourself as you wish; but a Kitty Carryall you ain’t.

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-Alex

 

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