Stop the Presses! Trump Celebrates the Health and Safety of Illegal Immigrants

Everyone knows Donald Trump is misogynistic, maniacal, murderous, sinister, and traitorous.

Or at least, that’s what I saw on MSNBC. And in addition to those defining characteristics, the man who is simultaneously a giant dolt and an evil genius is also heavily, heavily racist — particularly against South Americans.

Or at least, that’s what I heard on CNN.

And that’s why you may be confused by Monday’s occurrence — during a tribute to immigration officers, the President called upon agent Adrian Anzaldua in order to honor him for — get ready — saving the lives of over six dozen illegal immigrants.

On August 11th, at a U.S. Border Patrol Checkpoint in Laredo, Texas, a tractor trailer got the attention of a Border Patrol canine. The truck failed to stop at a secondary checkpoint, resulting in a chase and —

I’ll let President Trump tell it from here:

“Just over a week ago, a human smuggler was arrested in Laredo for locking — and really locking — a horrible 78 illegal aliens inside of a (refrigerated) trailer. The border patrol agent who caught the accused, and likely, really, saved many lives — he’s here with us.”

Trump invited Anzaldua to the podium:

“Where’s Adrian? Adrian’s here with us. Thank you, Adrian. Great job. Thank you. It’s a lot of lives. That’s great. … Come here, I wanna ask you about that. 78 lives. You saved 78 people. So how did you feel that there were people in that trailer? There’s a lot of trailers around. Please?”

Anzaldua gave his account of the incident:

“I had a canine alert. A vehicle was referred to secondary and once a vehicle is referred to secondary — well, the tractor trailer — I’m sorry — was referred to secondary, the vehicle proceeded to elude and flee the checkpoint. Shortly after, the vehicle was stopped at the — approximately 30-mark — 30-mile marker — which is a mile north of the checkpoint. Subsequently, I went out there and ran the dog, conducted a non-intrusive search of the vehicle — of the tractor trailer. And once again, the canine alerted. And subsequently, I opened the little latch of the back of the tractor trailer and revealed a lot of subjects. I quickly asked for backup, and backup got there, and the subjects were transported back to transport — back to the checkpoint, and all of them were in good health.”

What?? The President congratulates a man for saving illegal immigrants in good health? Apparently so:

“What a good job he did. What a good job.”

I know what you’re thinking: what did MSNBC do? Let it rain with coverage of, in the ultimate man-bites-dog story, Trump applauding someone for saving dozens of illegal immigrants?

Not exactly. Here’s the YouTube video they posted about the ceremony: