Perhaps I’m missing a gene, but I’ve never understood Winnie the Pooh. Even the name — “Pooh”…what in the world? And his voice…it almost makes me physically angry to hear. I want him to cough up whatever’s bothering him. Or perhaps he should take some of his beloved honey with tea, and try a vocal rest.

It appears that a lack of Pooh love is something I have in common with Xi Jinping, who leads the most populated country in the world.

Meanwhile, I only lead a laptop and a bag of Doritos.

🙁

As for Jinping, he’s pronouncing his disdain for Winnie from the throne: China has banned the beloved Disney character. I hate to cover this story, since it will block me from my thriving fanbase in the People’s Republic. But here goes…

Let us now turn to that most trusted of news sources, Bad Credit Car Loans:

'Christopher Robin' release denied in China, possibly because Pooh looks like Xi Jinping https://t.co/id9xt4ZldT pic.twitter.com/lch74YoaW9

— Bad Credit Car Loans (@quickcarloannow) August 4, 2018

Oh, bother. I mean, brother.

This problem started the way we on the Right know all problems began: with Barack Hussein Obama.

In 2013, an image appeared — and spread — online, showing the Chinese Communist Party chief with Barack, next to a picture of the frumpy yellow bear and his taller, thinner pal, Tigger. Unlike Christina Aguilera’s Genie in a Bottle, apparently, this rubbed Xi the wrong way. Hence, a banning of images of the cartoon character.

In a hilarious taught-lesson to the Left in real totalitarianism (unlike that which they project onto Trump), liberal John Oliver made fun of Xi’s anti-Pooh stance in June. The result? Oliver and HBO’s website were stricken from the Chinese web.

Gosh, that makes me laugh.

And by the way — “the Chinese Web” was the title of a great 1979 Spiderman movie. You should check it out.

It still holds up today, if you define “holding up” by a guy in spandex with square-tipped gloved fingers and a nifty wristband web/rope-shooter chasing bad guys in NYC to the groovy sounds of disco.

One thing I’ll give ’em is that all the crawling on buildings looks real. I’m still not sure how they did it. Think the MPR raccoon, but with Muzak.

But back to Xi —

Not only did China show Oliver what real totalitarian censorship is; they also one-upped America in another key way: whereas the U.S. has made a pariah of the N-word, earlier this year, China banned the N-letter. For a while, it was a means by which dissenters could mathematically express their disagreement with a very suspect Communist maneuver: an alteration of the Chinese constitution that eliminated term limits.

Smooth move. The expression online was “N > 2” (with “N” representing the number of Xi’s terms thus far).

Back to Pooh: I don’t get the comparison. Maybe I have cataracts, but he looks nothing like the bear. See for yourself:

"Christopher Robin" Banned in China, Possibly Due to Memes Comparing Leader Xi Jinping to Pooh Bear https://t.co/yp7kUGlja8 pic.twitter.com/azm6s8XvXb

— Jordan Ruimy (@mrRuimy) August 3, 2018

You think? The Obama side-by-side is a funny image, but I don’t walk away thinking–

Hey — wait a minute: this guy’s a Chinese Communist ruler; shouldn’t he be dressed like Hillary Clinton?

=

Moving on…

I will give credit where credit is due…the following is a fantastic matching, and the guy on the left — Japanese Prime Minister Shinzo Abe — actually, maybe I should keep my cartoon-pairing opinions to myself where it concerns powerful foreign leaders.

You be the judge:

Chinese Internet users FTW. #APEC2014 pic.twitter.com/6wFDvhlaNv

— Josh Chin (@joshchin) November 10, 2014

Pretty good, right?

But then we’re back to this, screenshotted from Twitter:

Not exactly identical. Bush league, really, in my book.

Regardless, presumably due to Jinping’s dislike of the comparison, China has given the No-Go to to Disney’s new film, Christopher Robin. It’s the second release from The Mouse they’ve turned down this year, the other being A Wrinkle in Time.

Personally, I don’t understand why Xi is so upset. The movie version of Winnie does indeed look like he’s been on meth and left out in the sun to bleach, but the cartoon version is lovable and cute. It doesn’t seem like a putdown. I’ve had much worse: once, after a too-short haircut that made my ears particularly pronounced, I was told my head looked like a car with the doors open. Xi should try that on for size.

Nevertheless, apparently, to the potentially-lifelong dictator of China, his alleged cartoon likeness is nothing but a bunch of Pooh.

Thanks for reading! Check out the videos below.

For something (not entirely) totally different, please see my articles on the return of Jean-Luc Picard, Hillary’s fight for relevance, and Disney’s own ban — of straws.

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