World Changer -- The Trump Baby Balloon is Comin' to America! Plus: Tales from the Grocery Store Parking Lot

Have you found yourself jealous of those chosen few Londoners who got to witness the greatness of the Trump Baby balloon?

Well, my fellow Americans, fret no more.

New Jersey anti-Trump activists are bringing the baby blimps to their home state. Finally, you’ll be able to behold, domestically, the diaper wrapped around a ballooned billionaire.

The plan is to let the 20-foot floating cartoons fly near Trump’s Bedminster, New Jersey National Golf Club.

The President typically spends many summer weekends there.

Here’s the heart-warming part: according to organizer Jim Girvan, the goofballs in the UK have granted the goofballs here to make their own with the original molds and patterns.

Awww.

Lots of people want the “Trump Baby” balloon https://t.co/NPRe99qk1P

— The New York Times (@nytimes) July 20, 2018

The aspiring New Jersey babysitters turned to GoFundMe to generate enough dough to colossally waste (along with their time) on three balloons. That’s due to the fact that they’ve already more than tripled their goal. They intend to take the balloons to various events nationally.

This won’t be Girvan’s first rodeo: he’s also a part of the People’s Motorcade, which protests Trump every non-winter Saturday outside the golf course.

He told CNN, “We’re comfortable that we’re going to have the opportunity to fly the balloon in relatively close proximity to his golf club while he’s here.”

What is wrong with these people??

I came across someone protesting outside a grocery store one night during George W. Bush’s presidency. He was trying to get signatures for impeachment. He approached me and began asking questions, and I was shocked to learn that I knew much, much, much more about politics than he did. And he was the one attending a political protest; I was just trying to buy some Doritos.

It’s sad when the Doritos guy knows more than the protestor. He had no clue what he was talking about, but he was sure he was going to unseat the Leader of the Free World.

I said, “This isn’t how impeachment works. You can’t just go to a supermarket with a clipboard and fire the President. He was elected. You’re wasting your time. You’re literally changing nothing.”

He disagreed.

I promised him:

“I tell you what — if I’m sitting on my couch (eating Doritos) at any point during the duration of Bush’s term, and on television, they say, ‘Newsflash! President George W. Bush has been impeached and thrown out of office, thanks to Micah in the North Hollywood Ralph’s parking lot,’ then I’ll drive back to you and personally apologize.”

He must’ve given up, because Bush remained President and the world spun just the same as those pre-clipboard days.

I’m sure the baby ballooners aren’t expecting impeachment, but I must say: to spend their time and effort to, in protest, fly the balloon version of a business mogul turned President — one of the most successful Americans in history — wearing a diaper makes them look like the babies.

I’d sure rather be the billionaire the balloon-flyers are insulting than the people holding the strings.

It reminds me of a (paraphrased) story by G. Gordon Liddy about being admitted to prison — the guard who gave the cavity checks was posturing, flaunting his superiority, abusing the inmates. Liddy said, “You’re the one who makes a living looking up men’s ***es.”

Girven expects the balloon order to take two to four weeks to complete.