Ring the bells! I have great news!

Guns and family detention are no longer crises in America!

Not long ago, according to politicians and pundits on CNN and MSNBC, these were life-defining issues.

But not now!

Even the Supreme Court opening is old news. And that was the fight of our lives! Just ask Elizabeth Warren:

Supreme Court Justice Anthony Kennedy’s retirement means that women’s health, equal marriage, and civil rights are all at risk. This is the fight of our lives. pic.twitter.com/MQ8tWIrwYQ

— Elizabeth Warren (@ewarren) June 27, 2018

I guess now our lives have no meaning.

🙁

But no — we have Russia this week. Now, subpoenaing the interpreter is the fight of our lives.

Or something like that.

But thank God all these other things have passed. Why, last year, we went through Armageddon. Literally. The world ended. Take it from Nancy Pelosi:

But shew — now everything’s hunky dory!

Oh, wait — I forgot about Russia: the President of the United States, aka Satan, conspired against the world Monday with his hideous partner in evil crime, Vladimir.

Vlad! That was Dracula’s name!

Still, maybe this is better than what happened almost two years ago: Hitler was elected President — you know, that guy who murders everybody? Yet, somehow, we’re still alive.

You would almost think that the cries of the Left must be ridiculous.

Almost.

Can you think of other issues since the advent of President Donald Trump which stopped the world from spinning, and then magically disappeared at the reset of our 17-minute news cycle? Sound off in the Comments section below.

For something different, here are my articles on Chelsea Manning’s interesting life, Family Guy’s lampooning of Millennials, and Amy Schumer virtue-signaling herself out of her own movie.

Find all my RedState work here.

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