In other news, NASA has finally spoken up on the critical controversy surrounding their alleged child slavery ring operating on Mars, an explosive story first reported by White House press room credentialed Infowars.

“There are no humans on Mars. There are active rovers on Mars,” said suspiciously named NASA spokesperson Guy Webster, also known as “just some Guy.” Denial is exactly what a child slavery Mars base operator would do, I might add.

“There are active rovers on Mars,” he added divertingly. “There was a rumor going around last week that there weren’t. There are. But there are no humans,” he said in an exclusive interview with Ben Collins of The Daily Beast.

Infowars operates a news and intelligence operation on the second planet from the sun, which is where we get the phrase “Child slaves are from Mars, Infowars is from Venus.”

The definitely real Mars colony allegations were made on the Alex Jones show, who has an “amazing” reputation according to President Trump.

The Daily Beast’s Collins points out that also revealed in the White House credentialed Infowars broadcast was the allegation that the children are not only enslaved, but also murdered for their blood and bone marrow. Which I mean, of course.

We’ll beam any updates on this dramatic story into your brain using chemtrails from gay frogs. Also probably Hannity’s show. Stay tuned.