WATCH: Trump Stands By Lewandowski, Suggests Fields' Pen Was A Threat, And Also Other Crazy Nonsense

Yeah for one the headline pretty much sums up the whole thing. At the CNN GOP Presidential Town Hall on Tuesday, Donald Trump quintupled down on Corey Lewandowski, standing by his man and saying … well some pretty wild stuff. Watch:

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“whether it’s a little bomb” … He says the Secret Service didn’t know if it was a bomb. Hey guess what? The Secret Service didn’t get arrested yesterday. They’ve got zippo to do with this.

He mocks her. He calls her ethics into question. He suggests pressing charges himself. He brought handouts.

HE BROUGHT HANDOUTS AND GAVE THEM TO ANDERSON COOPER.

Below is the full transcript from CNN, because you really have to read the whole transcript if you can’t watch the video. But before that, let me just say this one thing: wut dude? For serious? Pen bombs, and you don’t know what touch is?

I guess maybe when your malformed proto-hands grasp things it’s sort of involuntary? Because you really should know what touch is. Just like Bill Clinton should have known what “is” is. You feel?

Transcript:

COOPER: Let me ask you about Lewandowski. Initially your campaign said this never happened, there was no video of it. You came out and said you thought this person was, perhaps, making it up, this reporter. Lewandowski, himself, tweeted saying, I never met this reporter, I never touched this person; now the videotape shows he clearly did touch this person. Whether or not you think it was battery or not…

TRUMP: Touch – I don’t know what touch means. I looked…

COOPER: Well, he says I never touched this person.

TRUMP: And then she says, oh, look, at my arm.

(CROSSTALK)

COOPER: Did he mislead you at all?

TRUMP: Not at all. No, not at all. Look, I didn’t know we had all these security cameras all over. But the time I found out, I said, well, this is really wonderful, this exonerates him totally. Now…

(CROSSTALK)

TRUMP: (inaudible) would have happened (inaudible) went to the ground or something to the effect that she almost went to the ground. She was in pain. She went to the ground. When she found out that there was a security camera, and that they had her on tape, all of a sudden that story changed. She didn’t talk about it.

COOPER: No, that’s not true. She says her story has remained exactly the same. She was knocked a little bit off…

TRUMP: Oh really? Can I read this to you this then?

COOPER: Yes, that she was knocked off balance but she remained standing.

TRUMP: Do you mind if I read this to you? Do you mind if I read you her statement?

(APPLAUSE)

TRUMP: I mean, give me a break. You know, the problem is everybody dumps people when there’s, like, a sign of political incorrectness. I’m just going to read, if I can find it…

COOPER: She said she was almost knocked off balance, but she remained standing.

TRUMP: She said she was almost knocked off balance, right. Here’s what she said. You want to read it? Or you want me to do it?

You’re a professional announcer. Why don’t you read it. The bottom part.

(LAUGHTER)

TRUMP: The bottom. Now that’s an exact quote from her prior to seeing the cameras, and now she says, oh, I better change my story, I guess.

COOPER: This quote says, “I was jolted backwards. Someone had grabbed me tightly by the arm and yanked me down. I almost knell fell to the ground but was able..”.

TRUMP: Yanked you down. Did you see it? Did she almost fall to the ground, Anderson?

COOPER: “… was able to maintain my balance nonetheless. I was shaken. Campaign managers aren’t supposed to try to forcefully throw reporters to the ground.”

No, she did not go down on the ground.

TRUMP: Oh no, let me just say – look, before she knows – folks, look, I’m a loyal person. I’m going to be loyal to the country. I’m going to be loyal to Wisconsin. We have to tell it like it is. It would be so easy for me to terminate this man, ruin his life, ruin his family. He’s got four beautiful children in New Hampshire, ruin his whole everything, and say you’re fired. Okay? I fired many people, especially on “The Apprentice.”

(LAUGHTER)

TRUMP: But look at what she says. Michelle Fields, who, by the way, is not a baby. OK? In her own worlds, exactly. “I was jolted backwards.” Well, she’s standing there. “Someone had grabbed me tightly by the arm.” Tightly. “And yanked me down.” She wasn’t yanked down. She was – like, she didn’t even have any expression. If somebody in this audience gets whacked, or gets hurt, including me, you get hit a little bit. You go, ow. There’s no emotion.

OK, wait a minute. “I almost fell to the ground.” I almost fell to the ground; she didn’t almost fall to the ground. He got in her way. And by the way, she was grabbing me! Am I supposed to press charges against her? Oh, my arm is hurting.

Anderson, my arm is just killing me. It’s never been the same.

COOPER: You’ve suggested you might –

TRUMP: Excuse me, excuse me! I didn’t suggest.

COOPER: Oh, yeah, you did.

TRUMP: I tweeted. No, no, I tweeted.

COOPER: A tweet is a suggestion.

TRUMP: Should I press charges?

COOPER: Are you going to?

TRUMP: Sure! I don’t know. Maybe I should, right? Because you know what?

(LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE)

TRUMP: She was grabbing me. And just so you understand, she was off base because she went through the Secret Service. She had a pen in her hand which Secret Service is not liking because they don’t know what it is, whether it’s a little bomb or –

COOPER: So it doesn’t concern you that initially Corey Lewandowski said I never touched her, and that turns out not to be true?

TRUMP: I don’t think he knew her. I mean, based on what I heard, I don’t think he really even knew who she was. To the best of my knowledge, they really didn’t know each other. Or he said he doesn’t know her.

But listen to this: “I almost fell to the ground,” which is untrue, “but was able to maintain my balance.” She had no trouble with her balance because it’s right on tape. “Nonetheless, I was shaken. Campaign managers aren’t supposed to try to forcefully throw reporters to the ground.” She didn’t go to the ground! She didn’t even have an expression on her face.

COOPER: Do you think this is politically motivated?

TRUMP: It could be. I don’t know. Look, I’ll tell you what: a friend of mine who’s in law enforcement said to me, there’s probably not a detective in the world that would have done what they did to him. I mean, people in Syria –

COOPER: The state attorney’s a Democrat.

TRUMP: Excuse me, excuse me. Oh, really? Oh, I’m shocked to hear that.

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Bruh.

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