The Prophet Versus Some Myth Named Jesus

Not a day goes by that I don’t see an attack on Jesus, or His followers – Christians, for those of you in Rio Linda – on twitter, a liberal blog, a libertarian thought leader, any random drawing from a hat of MSNBC personalities, or in print/online newspapers. The attacks vary anywhere between snide remarks, insistence Jesus didn’t exist, insistence He was a closeted homosexual, claims He knocked up Mary Magdalene, and on and on and on.


The implication is clear, if you believe your precious sky fairy had a son and he is your god, then you are clearly not to be taken seriously. You belong to on oppressive cult that wants to hang gays and enslave minority. Also, SCIENCE. BOOM!!

But then, a group of people yelling Allahu Akbar murder someone and the script changes tone and direction to absolutely no one’s surprise.

The Prophet, who once bested not only a lion but the 40 midget wrestlers who were fighting it – all while teaching subhuman white people algebra, mind you – must not be associated with such extremism done in his name. After all, not only did he create the idea of Democracy itself, he founded to only true religion on peace.

At least that seems to be how this shtick goes. Easter and Christmas, two of the holiest days in Christianity, are a great time to slander all of Christianity and openly mock the core of our beliefs, but it would be an act of unforgivable cultural insensitivity to note that the guys who just massacred a bunch of cartoon artists did so in the name of The Prophet Muḥammad.

In response to this offense to God, Christ, Christianity as a whole, and myself, I have decided not to shoot up people like Jim Clancy of CNN who attempted to blame the Jooooooooooos!! for the attack on Charlie Hebdo. No, I haven’t activated the forces of Christendom to lay siege upon the offices of Newsweek for claiming that Jesus is a myth.* Heck, I haven’t even bothered to yell loudly while shaking my fist at the sky.


Nope, instead, like your average extremist cult member, I drew a picture that properly explains the complicated details of the media’s selective bigotry and the absolute absurdity of the same. Honestly, it is simply enough that even your average liberal is capable of agreeing with it. Well, after they are done being outraged by it.

* I honestly don’t know if Newsweek is operating at a level at which it would actually require anything more than a P.O. Box to receive the invoice bills for putting the rag to print. That said, I didn’t check the Souther Poverty Law Center for their address. I mean, I am sure they are listed as a hate group, right?


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