Billionaire LeBron James Whines About Not Being Able to Go to Target Like 'Regular People'

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In this episode of Sometimes Life Sucks for LeBron…

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Poor LeBron James is frustrated, America, as he damn well should be. Turns out life as a world-famous billionaire NBA superstar isn’t as glamorous as it’s cracked up to be. Not even close. For example, LeBron can’t even go to Target, for heaven’s sake — like “normal people.” Oh, the humanity!

And to undoubtedly make LeBron’s non-normal-person life even worse, he surpassed Kareem Abdul-Jabbar’s career regular-season points total of 38,387 to become the NBA’s all-time leading scorer on Tuesday, as my colleague Jerry Wilson reported. Yup, the tragedies just keep piling up for this guy.

While the controversial limelight-loving Los Angeles Laker insisted he wasn’t complaining during a recent interview in Indianapolis following a win over the Indiana Pacers, he did whine several times that his fortune and fame can at times be “challenging,” as reported by The New York Times.

I don’t want to say it ever becomes too much, but there are times when I wish I could do normal things. I wish I could just walk outside.

I wish I could just, like, walk into a movie theater and sit down and go to the concession stand and get popcorn. I wish I could just go to an amusement park just like regular people.

I wish I could go to Target sometimes and walk into Starbucks and have my name on the cup just like regular people.

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“I’m not sitting here complaining about it, of course not. But it can be challenging at times,” exasperated LeBron exclaimed. Of course he was complaining — LeBron James always complains and he always plays the victim. He’s friggin’ LeBron James; it’s what he does.

But why does he complain so much? You’d have to ask him, but my guess is James can never get enough attention. You know; like AOC, except a tad smarter.

Nonetheless, if you’re in need of a tissue or two after reading LeBron’s tragic story, be my guest, below.

You’re welcome.

Incidentally, LeBron James’s estimated net worth of $1 billion doesn’t come solely from playing basketball. Not even close. As reported by Breitbart, only about $41 million of the self-appointed social justice warrior’s fortune comes from the NBA. The remainder comes from shoe, movie, and clothing deals, the vast majority of which comes from Nike — among the dozens of international corporations linked to slave labor in China.

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Nike itself is heavily invested in the Chinese market and reportedly raked in roughly $6 billion in China in just the last year. “Coincidentally,” James is one of Nike’s biggest-selling names in the Chinese market.

Anyway, I can only write so much about LeBron before I need to move the hell on. There’s far more important stuff to write about. Just don’t tell King James.

And LeBron? Shut up and dribble.

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