Has it been three weeks? Is that how long ago Perry withdrew from the race? You’ll have to forgive me as I have lost track of time while mourning the loss of the first politician I have ever wept for. Not to mention the temporary (although, initially, I didn’t know if I would ever post here again) loss of my RedState comrades.
As some of you know from the second diary I wrote here, I am one of the Tea Party-type newbies to the political scene and started reading and commenting at RedState last June. If what our country is going through were not so serious and wrought with peril at every turn, I would be able to look at my experience here as just a hobby of sorts and perhaps I would not have been so profoundly affected by Perry’s (premature, IMO) withdrawal from the race. But, instead, in all of my humble naivete, I was completely caught off guard when Perry dropped out. And just one day after I had decided I would no longer stay involved at RS because Erick joined in with the other pros who insisted that if Perry had any future left, he should do the right thing, be a hero and drop out of the race.
So stunned, angry, disappointed and despondent was I that I ran back to my familiar surroundings — something closer to a pew or an altar where I could safely weep before the Lord. Prior to my jump into the nuts and bolts of politics, I was deeply involved (we’re talking twenty-two years) inside the church which entailed, among other things, much study of scripture and many years of allowing the Lord to do a deep work in my life as He, of necessity, must do with all of His children.
My devotion and love for Him eventually led me to discover that He delights in seeing his broken, weak followers give their all to Him and for me that meant my musical talent. So, I was equally delighted when He allowed me to honor Him as a singer/songwriter and dancer/choreographer by writing songs to Him and dancing dances that might somehow convey my adoration for the best friend I ever met.
So, that is where I have been the last few weeks. Safely hidden inside the love of my Savior allowing the music and dance to enable me to grieve, regain my composure and get back in the battle. Not saying I am done yet but I just had to stop by, say hello, let you know I am okay and that I will be back some time soon. I miss you all terribly and am equally stunned at the depth of affection I have for so many friends I feel like I made here.
I forgive you, Martin Knight, for your somewhat harsh post-mortem of Perry. Remember the five stages of grief? Denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance? Maybe your diary reflected a man in the second stage — anger — and for you, lashing out at the missteps Perry made is your way of dancing and singing before the Lord.