Marco Obama

Have we learned nothing?  Have we watched Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind or 50 First Dates once too often?  Did we get bitten by the Walking Dead zombies and now only respond to sound, stumbling forward to its source?  Are we collectively Jason Bourne, struggling to remember what trauma erased our memories?  What, in the name of  Amnesiacs Anonymous,  are Republican types thinking about this Rubio fellow?

Third place in Iowa was hailed as victory and suddenly, the Establishment types (identifiable by their hunger to be invited to Davos) dropped Jeb! as quickly as an acne date who drools,  and embraced the former Tea Party Senator from Florida.  (One Wall Street Journal type was swooning and breathless as she recounted Marco’s manly charms, gushing about his “electability” and free trade vision for the future.) Pundits found refuge from their fear of The Donald and their contempt from that scurvy conservative from Texas and proclaimed Marco as the “face of the future” for the GOP, an eloquent defender of a “reasonable immigration policy” and a certain lock on the burgeoning Hispanic vote.  Jeb’s plaintive cries went unheeded and donors were left to decide which curb in which block (perhaps South Carolina?) they would kick him to.

And I scratch my head.  Do folks that claim to be conservative really believe this fellow?  Or do they see eerie similarity to that guy who ran in 2008 and proclaimed that “we are the change we have been looking for?”  For your consideration, and my mental health, I offer the following.

1. Both men (the well coiffed Senator and the thin haired one) are big into claiming a New Age.  One wanted Hope and Change, one a New American Century. Both admit to wanting to be transformational, the one wanting to make America much like Sweden domestically and Luxemborg militarily and internationally, and the other to make America safe for immigrants, visa holders and Chinese imports.

2.  Both are eloquent, one using a teleprompter lest he say what he really thinks of this misbegotten country, the other memorizing his talking points to not let slip what he will really do when elected.

3.  Both have slim-to-none legislative experience (not just not having bills passed but even fighting vigorously for good legislation).

4.  Both have always worked a job to prepare for the next big one, never content to slog it out for long periods of time trying to serve the constituents that elected them.  Thus Marco flits from job to job, and now sees the Big One as his right.  And BHO has now completely taking the U.S. down a peg or two (counting on a Democrat successor to finish us off) and can scoot off to the U.N. to torture other nations, as well as us.

5.  Both react poorly to criticism: Marco sweats and repeats himself, the Tourette candidate, stammering instead of stating a new idea.  BHO snipes, snarls and attacks the questioner of his divine bona fides, sicking IRS and liberal lackeys to open up the Dem sump pump on those who do not admit BHO is “sort of God.”

6.  Both are lazy.  BHO loves vacations, trips, golf, basketball, listening to the sound of his own voice, and pontificating on how wretched and racist white folks are. Rubio just isn’t too worked up about attendance, convinced a good speech is better than wrangling it out in the Senate.  (You heard it here first, BHO will not accept nomination to Supreme Court.  Those folks actually work, and hard, at times, and have to actually persuade, versus forcing, others to their point of view.  The UN Secretariat is right down his alley: little work, lots of speeches, perks, sticking it to countries you don’t like, like Israel, protecting those you love, like Iran, and lots of time to write his memoirs on tablets of stone.)

“OK,” you say, “there are similarities, but Marco is pro-life, pro-traditonal marriage, and he has a great life story.  He will appoint conservative judges to Supreme Court. He will be bipartisan.  He will get the Hispanic vote and that is the future….and Rush likes him.”

Great response, except for a couple of things.

1.  He may be pro-life but do you really believe he has the stomach to A. cut off Planned Parenthood funding if Chuck Schumer, his old compatriot in the Gang of Eight bill which sought to open borders and provide amnesty, opposes him B. nominate pro-life judges against the liberal onslaught to not use a “litmus test” of pro-life or C. support a bill to formalize religious liberty protections?  His whole record displays, shall we say, a spine more like overcooked spaghetti than iron.  As for traditional marriage, I would expect him to…give some really good speeches.

2. Since he would be elected with the well-funded support of Chamber of Commerce, La Raza, Silicon Valley companies seeking cheap labor, and the like, do you honestly think he will work for American jobs to be protected or farmed out to immigrants?  He is an open borders, amnesty guy in his heart, like Paul Ryan, John McCain, Mark Zuckerberg, etc.  After all, these guys are greedy, not stupid. They do not mind screwing over the average American worker but they sure want their bought-and-paid-for politicians to deliver the goods, and so when Paul Singer, multibillionaire supporter of open borders and gay marriage, threw his support and money behind Rubio, do you think he did it without expecting reciprocity?  If so, I have some really nice Florida “wetlands” to recommend to you.

3. Like wars?  Like military funerals? Rubio departs from BHO in this regard.  The latter is ok with innocents dying, so long as it is far away and not anything that will disturb his golf game or March Madness picks.  The former is a “boots on the ground, let’s have another war” kind of guy.

4. Marco has a good story, almost a Dreams of My Father kind of story.  Need I say more.

5.  Marco as uniter?  BHO said the same and the proceeded to encourage and foment racial division, leaving African-Americans less safe, more endangered than before.  How would Marco unite the millions of Americans out of work, replaced by immigrant labor, made poorer by foreign products flooding the country, with the millionaires profiting from their unemployment?  Can you say Balkanized, violence in the streets?

6. Rush likes him?  Hmm. So are we going to open borders because Rush has taken a hankering to MR?  I respect Rush but on this, sorry big fella.  Let him join Santorum in my “sorry you haven’t thought this thing through or you prefer tall tales to guts and principle” group.  Let others sort out why Rush takes kindly to the high school student body president.  (BTW, Rush, Christie was on target: he did not dispute the truth of what the high school class president said — it was the formulaic, fresh frozen, prepackaged style — all focus tested and good so long as sold by expiration date.)

Seriously, folks, the character of America is made up of many institutions, ideals, expectations and common values.  After seven years of intentional weakening, division, dissemination of poisonous values and degradation of our virtues, the stitching that holds us together has begun to pull apart.  The future is not rosy for the next president and whether the damage done by our first anti-American president can be undone is uncertain.  Certainly it will not be if we choose a slick commodity, a weak leader who is bought and paid for by the special interest groups who hold the ripped threads of our nation as their due.  We can’t get this one wrong, citizens.  If we do not take care and discern carefully, we will reap the whirlwind.