Diary

Obama's Economic Stimulus Term Paper

Remember those scenes on TV shows where they depict the 15-year-old boy reading his term paper to the class? Remember how most of it was nonsense and filler? Remember how everyone could tell the boy didn’t really do any research at all and had no clue what he was talking about?

Keep that in mind as I recount how Obama’s presser sounded on the radio. (I almost never watch these things. I always listen. It focuses the mind wonderfully)

Ladies and gentlemen, the president of the United States

“Hello and thanks for coming today.

“This is my term paper, to which you are about to hear me read, of which I wrote so that I could bring it here so that I could read it. It is a very important term paper because the economy is in bad shape and we need to buck up the public perception that we are doing important things. So, to do that we are going to do important things so that the economy is bucked up in the public’s perception. These important things are very important or we would not be doing them. I have instructed many important people to do these important things because the economy is really important.

“If we don’t do these things of which I am talking about and have just mentioned only just minutes ago, we are going to have a really bad time. It’s important that we don’t have a really bad time my important advisers have told me. I will have my advisers tell you how important it is not to have a bad economy later tomorrow. They are really important guys, OK?

“This was my term paper on the important economic stimulus.

“By the way… I won.

“Thanks for coming. Any questions about A-Rod I can answer?…”