Diary

Chinese Humvee... er, Mengshi, we Mean... Outperforms American Humvee

Don’t you just love it when other nations have such grand successes in the realm of science, technology, and engineering? Isn’t it great when, all on their own without any help from anyone, a backwards country such as China can produce a battlefield transport vehicle that is far better than our poor American version? And, they did it without any espionage, too.

And if you believe that…

The Chinese “news” agency China View is reporting this grand success…

China’s homemade army vehicle outshines U.S. Humvee

BEIJING, Jan. 12 (Xinhua) — The “Mengshi (Warriors)” off-road military vehicle produced by Chinese automaker Dongfeng Motor surpasses U.S. Humvee in 12 out of 15 major battlefield performance indices, chief designer Huang Song has said.

Use by the Chinese military force has proven that “Mengshi” overtakes Humvee in 12 indices, including the loading capacity andoil consumption, and are well-matched with Humvee in three other indices, Huang was quoted as saying by Monday’s Economic Information Daily, a Xinhua publication.

It took Dongfeng six years to develop the vehicle, which had undergone more than 200,000 hours of factory tests and more than 1.6 million kilometers of road tests before mass production.

The vehicle was formally equipped to the People’s Liberation Army in 2007.

“Mengshi” has also passed various environmental and geological tests, including airdropping, high altitude and extreme heat and cold weather conditions.

With 75 patents, the 1.5-ton high mobility vehicle met all military requirements, said Huang.

It also won the first class award of national science and technology progress at the 2008 State Top Scientific and Technological Awarding Conference here last Friday.

This was the first such award won by the auto industry in 22 years.

Isn’t that heartwarming? Here’s a picture that proves how vastly different the Mengfungshui is than the lowly American Humvee:

Now, the report above did go through a few drafts before it was just right to post. Here is the first draft…

For Glorious report of Better Chinese Humveeee…er Mengshi, we mean

Better Chinese testing agents have found that glorious Chinese Humveeee…er Mengshi, we mean, out performs lowly and badly made U.S. vehicles.

Unbiased Chinese testing further confirms that glorious Chinese Humveeee…er Mengshi, we mean, will always be better than capitalist pig American vehicle.

Chinese testing was performed without telling testing agents that they would be imprisoned in a hole so dark that no light will ever get in nor were they threatened that their organs would be ripped from their still warm bodies and sold on black market. Testing agents swore of their own free will that glorious Chinese Humveeee…er Mengshi, we mean, is best ever seen in whole world.

We are just better. Face it pigs. You are losers.

You rooking at me, American? I am only Chinese in the Room!

As you can see, just a few words were changed between the first draft and the final report above.

So, join me in celebrating this Chinese success story, won’t you? And they did it all by themselves, too. No “help” at all!

So grown up our little China.

Now, who in the American defense industry needs to be investigated and imprisoned for allowing an enemy agent to steal the Humvee’s plans?