Health Care, Cows and Ice Cream

Original Post: http://www.usawatchmen.com/blog/post/2010/03/31/Health-Care-Cows-and-Ice-Cream.aspx

I received an email today that included a nice little story relating to the health care bill.  Probably not a true story but still very clever and a fun read.  I thought that it could use a little more detail and information to truely make it fit what is going on.  So I’ve included my version below the original.  Let me know what you think. 

–From a teacher in the Nashville area

“We are worried about ‘the cow’ when it is all about the ‘Ice Cream.’ The most eye-opening civics lesson I ever had was while teaching third grade this year… The presidential election was heating up and some of the children showed an interest. I decided we would have an election for a class president. We would choose our nominees. They would make a campaign speech and the class would vote. To simplify the process, candidates were nominated by other class members. We discussed what kinds of characteristics these students should have. We got many nominations and from those, Jamie and Olivia were picked to run for the top spot. The class had done a great job in their selections. Both candidates were good kids. I thought Jamie might have an advantage because he got lots of parental support. I had never seen Olivia’s mother. The day arrived when they were to make their speeches. Jamie went first. He had specific ideas about how to make our class a better place. He ended by promising to do his very best. Everyone applauded and he sat down. Now it was Olivia’s turn to speak. Her speech was concise. She said, “If you will vote for me, I will give you ice cream.” She sat down. The class went wild. “Yes! Yes! We want ice cream.” She surely would say more.. She did not have to. A discussion followed. How did she plan to pay for the ice cream (Health Care)? She wasn’t sure. Would her parents buy it or would the class pay for it. She didn’t know. The class really didn’t care. All they were thinking about was ice cream.. Jamie was forgotten. Olivia won by a landslide.. Every time Barack Obama opened his mouth he offered ice cream and 52 percent of the people reacted like nine year olds. They want ice cream. The other 48 percent know they’re going to have to feed the cow and clean up the mess.”

 Alright now back up a little bit to where Olivia won and where there were questions regarding who was going to pay for the ice cream…

Olivia – President

Teachers – Government

Students – American People

Ice Cream Companies – Insurance Companies

Farmers – Doctors

Ice Cream – Health Care Bill

Cows – Patients

Your lunch price will be increased 10 cents per day, and that 10 cents will be going towards the ice cream fund.  You also will NOT be receiving any ice cream until the next school year.  During this time Olivia and the teachers will be negotiating with the evil ice cream companies.  The ice cream companies will be told what ingredients to use and how much they will pay the farmer for milk.  Of course the farmer will be getting less money for his milk but he wants the business so he has no choice but to agree to the terms.  The next year rolls around and sure enough Olivia’s classroom gets ice cream every day.  But now all the classrooms want ice cream, so they are also told to bring in an extra 10 cents per day.  Olivia and the teachers now have the brilliant idea that they will raise their own cows and make their own ice cream out on the playground.  They will only make vanilla but they can now make enough ice cream for the whole school and they are not concerned with profit so if some kids can’t afford the 10 cents that is fine because they will be collecting 20 cents per day from the rich kids.  

After 10 years all the schools have evolved into one big network of ice cream making madness and of course the ice cream companies have gone out of business.  The farmers now work for the schools tending to the cows.

So what if Charlie wants chocolate ice cream?  Sorry Charlie!

What if Amy and Peter don’t want any ice cream at all?  Sorry you are required by law to take the ice cream!

What if Molly wants to bring in her own ice cream?  She can bring in vanilla ice cream.  It is against the law for her to bring any other flavor.