GOP Primary: 'Conservatives' now dead to me

I’ve been promising myself I’d do this for some time now.

This is a list of people and entities on the right I’ve written off, as if they were dead to me, as a result of the 2016 Republican presidential primary. An election that will surely go down as the most contentious in modern history, due in no small part to small-handed vulgarian Donald Trump.

Frustrated at the lemming-like behavior of “free-thinking conservatives” who have lined up behind Trump, and even more so at the visceral reaction many have taken toward Marco Rubio, arguably the best and brightest talent the GOP has seen since Ronald Reagan, I was in dire need of an outlet… though paring one’s friend list on Facebook does have surprising therapeutic value.

I get it that people are going to disagree over elections, but the nasty invective directed at Rubio is beyond the pale. A good and decent man who campaigns on the optimism of the conservative message, he does not deserve the flood of hate being directed his way. The lies, insults and extreme innuendo mimics the worst of the progressive left that so many on the right are quick to condemn.

No one made the list for NOT supporting Marco Rubio, but in one way or another, those named have taken their vilification of the candidate to an uglier, more personal place than called for. Or have simply made a practice of flipping the truth on its head in their zealotry against the Florida senator.

There are three categories: “Dead to Me,” which means I would not give these individuals the time of day; “One Foot in the Grave,” which means at the slightest provocation they move to the “Dead” file, and; “Dug Up,” which means I long ago declared them dead and opt to rebury them just for fun.

Without further ado…

Now Dead To Me

Sean Hannity — The Fox News host turned his substantial platform into a campaign apparatus for Donald Trump. Following the Fox News debate on March 3, after Trump bragged on stage about the size of his penis, Hannity used terms like “presidential” and “magnanimous” to describe his vulgar pal. Fair and balanced? Not by a long shot.

…best captured by this GIF:

Breitbart News — There’s a reason the website that bears the name of the great Andrew Breitbart is called Trumpbart News. Chairman Stephen Bannon, senior editor John Nolte and “writers” Matthew Boyle and Julia Hahn have turned the website into an attack operative site that gives Baghdad Bob a run for his money.

But don’t take my word for it:

Drudge — The popular Internet destination is currently locked in a tight competition with Breitbart on which site is more obsessed with trying to bring harm to Rubio.

Mark Levin — The high-pitched, bellowing talk radio host missed his life’s calling as spokesman for irritated bowel syndrome.

N.J. Gov. Chris Christie — The rotund politician sold his political soul for a scholarship to Trump University.

Laura Ingraham — A spinster who gives the best on the left a run for their money.

Not Dead, But One Foot in the Grave

Sarah Palin — The disoriented conservative firebrand has squandered away political capital politicians spend a lifetime trying to achieve, with this waste bottoming out with her endorsement of Trump. We miss you Sarah and hope you find your footing again real soon.

Michelle Malkin — All I can say is, “Tone down the shrill factor, honey.”

Dug Up So I Could Bury Them Again

Joyful Tortoise Jeb! Bush — Jeb! spent something like $25 million dollars attacking Rubio instead of directing his resources at the front-runner, Trump, and then, in an act of pettiness, sits on the sidelines in the Florida primary as his former protege fights for his political life — not that he moves the bar much should he back Rubio at the last minute.

Joe Scarborough — When not preoccupied with making Trump look good, the MSNBC host attacks Rubio as if he’s acting on a personal vendetta — which some claim exists.

Ann Coulter — Her inclusion is somewhat unfair as it suggests the fading long-necked bomb throwing drama queen was ever alive to me to begin with — she wasn’t.

Cross-posted at Florida RattleTale