Welcome to the GOP organization meeting for the 2016 election.

No, you can’t be part of our group because you support gay marriage.

Neither can you because you believe in evolution.

Don’t want you either because you believe there are some circumstances where abortion should be legal.

Not you either, you think global warming is bad.

No need for you, you won’t agree that we should deport all illegal aliens.

And you don’t even think of trying to join because you believe we must to something about guns.

And forget about you, you actually think government has a role to play in society.

Now, to the subject of our meeting: Why can’t we win national elections?