Joe Scarborough Challenges Ted Cruz, In Which Cruz Replies: "Hey I Remember You, You Were Big in the 90s, Whatever Happened to You?"

Big bad big head Joe Scarborough flexing those Starbucks muscles of his challenging Ted Cruz to come on his MSNBC show and explain his belief that a ban on assault weapons was unconstitutional. Now, of course Ted Cruz is right but that didn’t stop that ego-maniacal, huge head, big nose, glasses wearing, horrible musician wannabe, turncoat, Mika lovin on the side (know what I’m sayin chief? Yea this guy gets it, this guy, this guy right here) irrelevant, backbencher Congressman, failed radio host, second rate author, Scarborough Country! ha ha, arrogant, high and mighty, piece of simpleton gerbil crap. All you do Joe is french kiss liberal backside and paint yourself as this know-it-all who constantly lectures conservatives all the while trying to convince people you’re still a conservative.

You’re not a conservative you’re an irrelevant loser with a deep seeded resentment over the fact that you never really amounted to anything other than a C level Congressman with a dead intern in his office (Oh how’d that get there? Officer she told me she liked to be choked). Your radio show bombed, no one reads your books, and but for the 14 people who have nowhere to go in the morning, no one would watch you on television.

Ted Cruz is the last guy you want to challenge because quite frankly he would son you like the prison shower scene in American History X. As Jeffrey Meyer from Newsbusters points out in his article, the reason real conservatives don’t bother coming on your show is because you make it your new mission in life to bash and lecture every conservative left in the GOP. Maybe its envy or who knows, but I’ve noticed a trend where you focus like a laserbeam on conservatives who seem to have a growing influence within the party overall.

It started with your weird jealous ex boyfriend like rants against Sarah Palin. Then you started going after Glen Beck, then Rick Perry and Michelle Bachmann. Now you’re accusing Ted Cruz of being “scared” to come on your show after you’ve asked him 11 times? Homey that ain’t him being scared that’s you being obsessed with Ted Cruz. After the third ask maybe you should have gotten the message that maybe he just doesn’t want to be caught dead on your show.

I know he would be the first real conservative on the show in two years, but I don’t blame him for not wanting to come on; because you suck.

Ted Cruz has a real future in politics and a meaningful one at that. The man is principled, honest, and he speaks real words. Unlike you Joe, while Ted is making an impact in Washington you’re going to be there in that same seat, with that same crappy Starbucks coffee, with those same glasses, and that same giant Godzilla head of yours, with your little foo foo lapdog Mika, spouting your little condescending jargon about how conservatives need to listen to you because of course Joe you know everything and you’re always right.

And one more thing, as an actual musician who makes good music, stop playing guitar because you suck. Over and out on this monkey.