The Church of Colbert

What can be said about a certain party of ideological group of Americans who worship and praise a man whose entire televised existence is to satirize the political landscape in this country? How could this group and this party take serious a man who does so on a network called Comedy Central? What is it about Stephen Colbert that gets liberals all hot and bothered? And you know this isn’t some revelation I’ve had here recently, I can remember 2007 when I was wondering why so many of my then high school aged friends were fawning all over this guy. You had “Colbert ’08” Facebook groups, “One Million for Colbert” and other weird forms of idolatry cropping up all over the social network echo chamber.

I never understood the reasoning behind Stephen Colbert, I just know that he used to be on Strangers With Candy, and that’s pretty much it. I can’t tell you how he became so famous or why so many people suddenly find him funny. I’ve never seen his show nor do I have the desire to sit through more than five minutes of pseudo intellectual comedy; I’ve never been a fan of pseudo intellectual comedians. I like my comedy straight to the point without the barriers of self excusing righteousness and bull crap “I’m an outsider”  Bill Hicks wannabe posers.

I’m not comparing Stephen Colbert’s comedy to that of the late Bill Hicks, in fact I’m not trying to compare Colbert’s style with anyone because well, the guy’s not funny….at all. Which has me wondering still, why the left bows to the alter of this low hanging fruit in a suit.

Now Stephen Colbert has taken up a cause liberals everywhere can rally around: Super PACS. Never mind the fact that many Democrat politicians themselves have Super PACS, no no Colbert set his target on the GOP candidates, with Mitt Romney as the prime big game in the cross hairs. Colbert’s efforts have been trumpeted by you guessed it, MSNBC and NBC. He’s been called the “true patriot” of this year’s election because of his crusade against Super PACs, even though liberals use and have used Super PACs and Super PAC money for years to destroy conservative and Republican opponents with personal attacks and lies about their record.

So the guy’s a hero for going after GOP Super PACs but will he be as vocal or as annoying during the general election when the Obama Super PAC, expecting to pack a whopping billion dollars storms through the land with negative ads, lies, personal bombs, and other tools of political destruction? I’d say no but who’s really listening? And, if Colbert hates Super PACs so much why doesn’t he just say so? Why carry on with this idiotic fake presidential run that reeks of a child seeking attention from his parents by banging on his toy drum set while they watch the evening news.

That brings me to my central question: What exactly does Stephen Colbert offer? What does John Stewart offer? These guys aren’t unique because political satire has been around for decades. They say we conservatives aren’t cool because we don’t have a conservative John Stewart or a conservative Stephen Colbert, but why is that a bad thing? I’ll tell you what, we’ll keep the thinkers, founders, and leaders, you keep the annoying comedians.

By the way I wonder what these hack comedians would do if  there were no conservatives to make fun of. I guess we would finally get a clue as to how deep their comedic talent really is. I’m guessing not that deep. If today’s comedians can’t use foul language, mock Jesus, make fun of Sarah Palin, make fun of George Bush, make fun of themselves for being a Jew, or ridicule conservatives then what good are they? And thus I have summed up the shallow pool of a comedian’s brain.

Stephen Colbert won’t speak out against liberal Super PACs because he himself belongs to the largest liberal Super PAC in the world, it’s called the entertainment industry. I love self righteous hypocrite liberals who throw rocks in glass mansions purchased with the money they get from using their so called talent to sell a product based on the needs of consumers…boy capitalism sure is grand ain’t it?

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