The 2016 Spoilers

Don’t you just love a spoiler. Especially when it’s you’re team that’s trying to do the spoiling. Your team has absolutely no chance whatsoever of making it to the postseason, but by golly it will do everything in it’s power to make sure some other team doesn’t get there either.  The reasoning doesn’t matter. Maybe someone on their team dated one of your player’s sisters. Maybe your team is trying to elevate its sense of self-worth by winning the game so it looks better on the back of a trading card. Whatever the reason, spoilers have to make sure the other team does not win.

That’s what we’re faced with now. Just days away from the Iowa caucus and we have too many spoilers.  Run down this list if you will and let me know if I missed any!

Candidates:   It is not fair to single out a particular candidate so I will choose 3. Rick Santorum, Mike Huckabee, and Jim Gilmore as examples.  All three have numbers that are abysmal. Which is not to say the people are bad but they have no chance of getting out of Iowa better than fifth place. There are others who are sliding or who have a death grip on a three or four percent polling number that they refuse to relinquish. Besides, Iowa caucuses are different, they reason. They could be loved again Monday night. And they could be the one to beat Donald Trump. Not likely. The winner has to get out of Iowa with his campaign alive.  So for them a nice consolation prize. A “Spoiler T-Shirt”.   

The Establishment: Some in this category are nebulous. We might not know their names but they consider themselves “kingmakers”. Others we know because they keep getting elected in their home states after running and campaigning to the right of their true intentions. They’re lawmakers who promise “next time” the GOP will get what it wants in a bill. They’re in the House and in the Senate and some are even vocally proclaiming they’ll work with Trump. Anything to keep Cruz from getting out of Iowa with some headway. Not that they love Trump, they want Rubio. He just needs to hang on. If they funnel him enough money so he can stay afloat, Rubio will pick up a state – somewhere down the line. And then its all rosey for Rubio from there on out.  In the meantime, they’ll use every verbal tactic available to knock out the candidate that’s standing in their way. So for them a “Spoiler T-Shirt”

The Pundits/Talkers: I’m not pointing to the Ann Coulters or Rush Limbaughs. They’re so far in the Trump tank they’ll never see the light of day. Rather those who will talk against Trump and talk against the Democrats but won’t stand up for a single candidate. It’s possible they have two or three amongst the candidates who are friends. Or are beholding to a boss and can’t campaign or endorse because revenue streams would slow down. Oh, come the general election they’ll have no choice but to pick a candidate and some have said they will vote Trump, even though it would pain them to do so since he’s clearly not conservative. Hey, they could’ve affected the outcome early on so it wouldn’t have come down to Trump in the general. But they didn’t. Here’s your “Spoiler T-Shirt”

The Stay at Home Voter: Hey, Trump’s going to win anyway. Look how far ahead he is. Because the polls say he is, so I’m staying home. It’s cold. And here’s a Spoiler T-Shirt for you.

Republican Hope-n-Changers: Make no mistake, there are a number of Democrats who are siding with Trump for the chicken in every pot they were promised under the current administration. But that chicken never materialized. And now they barely have a pot to spit in.  No, these are the Republican equivalent. At least they think they’re Republican. They’re the ones who want what Sanders is promising like the free education and healthcare but refuse to vote Sanders. They know enough to realize its not free, but that’s about all they’ve mastered in their political lives.  Here’s the Spoiler T-shirt I promised.

One Hit Wonders:  Now we come to the single or maybe two issue voters.  Here’s where your Ann Coulter’s go. The guns and babies crowd. They vote for the McConnell’s and Alexander’s every time. Eminent domain has never touched their lives so it’s not important.  Its about keeping guns and no abortions and that’s it. That whole healthcare thing will be taken care of by the Supreme Court. Or maybe fall under its own weight. Or maybe Congress can fiddle with it. Its guns and babies, man.  Guns and babies.  Yeah, guns and babies are very important.  It’s such a popular stand there are Democrats who use those issues when they run at home.  Here’s some Spoiler T-Shirts for you guys.


Trump will not slowly fade over the next week. All of his support will not slowly peel away and latch onto others. A few might but not most. He’s leading and the only one who can slow his momentum right now going into New Hampshire is Cruz. If you want Rubio two or three states down the road, fine. Can Rubio get out of Iowa at number one. No. Does he have enough to get out at number 2. Doesn’t appear that way.

We’ve always asked our candidates to not only talk the talk but walk the walk.  Its up to us to do the same. But hey, if the day after the election you’re on a bench with others and you’re all wondering who spoiled our chances at getting our best conservative out of Iowa, just remember you’ve “Been there. Done that. Got the shirt. “