SATIRE: Joe Biden Ridicules John McCain's War Record

Democratic VP nominee, Senator Joe Biden (Del) touted his past experience as a key plus in preparing him for the job of keeping this country out of war during an Obama/Biden Administration.

“I never fired a shot in anger and what I have been able to accomplish on this personal level has given me the insight that will help me keep America at peace when I’m vice-president,” Biden boasted. “Compare this to the experiences of our opponents. Not only did Senator McCain go to war, he was amazingly unsuccessful at it. He lost his plane and got captured by the enemy—all in a losing cause. As for Lt. Governor Palin, well what could she know about war and peace? Has she ever attended a legislative hearing on foreign policy? Well, I am proud to say I have sat through hundreds of hours of testimony on the topic. Let the voters mull that over when they cast their ballots.”

Biden’s ability to evade having to fire any shots was aided by his five student draft deferments during the Vietnam War and a doctor’s note attesting to his unsuitability due to asthma he had suffered when younger. Fortunately, the condition did not prevent him from playing on his high school football team.

In related news, Biden denied reports that he said Israel would have to reconcile itself to a nuclear Iran. “I said accommodate,” Biden insisted. “They are deliberately misquoting me to mislead the American voters.”