President Calls a Mulligan: Demands “Do-Over” on Vacation

NOTE: Keep in mind – THIS IS SATIRE (read my introduction post for background) ####

President Calls a Mulligan: Demands “Do-Over” on Vacation

Vineyard Haven, MA Battered by bad weather, earthquakes, civil war rumblings from North Africa, murder disturbances in the Middle East and American hostages prisoners in Iran, President Obama officially called a mulligan today shortly after another completing another disastrous game of golf.  The President just can’t seem to catch a break from being leader of the free world and he said as much today:

Let me obfuscate be perfectly clear: I am always at work for the American people whether it is here, on a golf course or even in the White House. I want them to know that I, and my entire Cabinet are committed to fixing the economic mess left over by the previous Administration and getting people back to work.  I do realize that not everyone can get away to a secluded enclave like this and that many are struggling to pay their bills and mine. However, this economy is improving though for recipients of taxpayer largess and my visionary economic experience is once again leading us out of the quagmire caused by George Bush into a better tomorrow.  That said, I am still severely disappointed in the bad luck we seem to be catching crises facing our nation right now .  But,  I will not rest until all Americans especially the politically connected are feeling the largely imaginary economic recovery going on due to my Administration’s policies. ~ President Obama

The President was asked about his reaction to the chaos situation in Libya and responded:  “Well, as you know… we were committed from the beginning to bringing stability and peace to that region and to protecting the populace by way of a war non confrontational kinetic military action that was designed to sidestep the WPA and give us deniability should the situation deteriorate maximize our humanitarian efforts in the area.  As for Kaddafi, I have repeatedly asked stated that he needs to go… and that is still my request demand.” Reporters continued to pepper the President with questions about preparations for the hurricane winding its way towards the North and South Carolina coast, the recent 5.8 magnitude earthquake that struck the DC area and on the condition of the American hostages prisoners in Iran but the President was pulled away by staff so he could concentrate on the Presidential vacation affairs of state. Jay Carney, the White House Press Secretary stated “We have always done our best to defend demonstrate the President’s near endless vacationing and golf outings commitment to the work of the American people.  I hope that you all get it understand that he can do anything lead in any environment and the time here is better enabling him to do the people’s work.” Asked for a comment on the President’s serial vacationing time away from Washington, Speaker John Boehner (R-OH) said “Well, everyone needs a break now and then.  I think I speak for most people in America when I say that we plan on making sure the President has a lot of time away from Washington come November 2012 hope his time away is a good one.”