Diary

Perry’s In, Romney’s Out and Obama is Making Post-Presidential Plans

NOTE: Keep in mind – THIS IS SATIRE 🙂

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Perry’s In, Romney’s Out and Obama is Making Post-Presidential Plans

Charleston, SC

The great Texas boot that loomed over the GOP field Thursday night in Ames, Iowa is about to come down squarely on the other candidates’ plans to face off against President Obama in 2012.  Sources close to Texas Governor Rick “Lone Star” Perry say he’ll officially announce his intention to seek the Republican nomination for President this weekend while in Charleston, SC for the third annual RedState conference.  Perry was quoted earlier in the week as saying “Well, Texas is a big state but the Presidency is something bigger still. But like I always say, if the boot fits…”  If the Governor does decide to run, it is is widely thought that Mr.Romney’s candidacy will primarily be the one on the receiving end of that boot.

When asked about his chances of securing the GOP nomination against a relatively weak Republican field and defeating President Spreading whats left of your wealth around Obama, a confident Perry told reporters “…there are two things I am committed to doing immediately if I decide to run.  One, find Gov. Romney a job.  I know its been a while for him.  But we have lots of them in Texas though so I’m sure that won’t be too difficult.  Two, help President Obama make plans for his post-Presidential retirement. You shouldn’t wait till the last minute on these things.”  Pressed on who he might consider as a possible Vice Presidential running mate should he win the nomination, the former Democrat turned Republican stalwart Gov. Perry replied “Well, there are many fine people running now that would make great Vice Presidents and we’ll make an announcement on that when the time comes after I’ve ruled out Obama Light, Obama Clone, What’s his Name, Pizza guy, Running Man, It’s My Turn, and Ethanol Boy.

Perry is thought to be a formidable candidate against President Obama in the general election for numerous reasons; most importantly is that he’s done in Texas what the President can’t seem to do nationally by borrowing trillions of dollars on the backs of our grandchildren, imposing job killing regulations and through governmental micro-management of the private sector. – create jobs.  The other Republicans candidates were mixed in their reaction to the thought of a Perry candidacy.  Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-MN), the only candidate that offered a comment at the time this story went to press stated: “Finally… we get someone who can actually ‘man up’ and put on the big boy britches themselves.”

 

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