O – Day: President Launches Bus Tour Across Midwest

NOTE: Keep in mind – THIS IS SATIRE 🙂

(read my introduction post for background)


O – Day: President Launches Bus Tour Across Midwest






Cannon, Minnesota

President Obama’s Spreading Whats Left of the Wealth Around 2011 bus tour began rolling its way across the heart of the industrial Midwest today.  The tour’s first stop was in Cannon, Minn. and the President wasted no time in attacking Republicans Congress “…for failing to enact even more of my job killing agenda economic plans for getting America back to work.”

They’ve done nothing but say NO since they got to town – they said NO to the shovel-ready Stimulus Package, NO to the CR, NO to the debt ceiling increase… NO, NO, NO, NO – that’s all they ever do.  Well, NO one is standing in the way of progress.” ~ President Barack Obama

The President continued “What we need is a little more blame-shifting responsibility.  Republicans Congress needs to put partisan games aside do what’s best for my re-election campaign the country.  Obama also pushed back against charges that he is out of touch with the hardships non-union average Americans face.  “The Republicans other side has attacked me for what they derisively call Obamacare…well, I do care. And I care with your money.  If they choose to be the folks that don’t care to go about borrowing trillions more that we don’t have then that’s fine with me.”  Some have suggested that the President urge lawmakers to do their job return early from their break and act like responsible adults work on solving the nation’s troubling economic mess but Obama responded “All they ever do is bicker like little children argue and what we need right now is a little more demagoguery action.

Several union members local citizens in the crowd coincidentally carrying Obama 2012 signs voiced their support for the President’s rancorous message of hope. Joe Biggalo, a community action coordinator from Chicago, Ill. said: “It’s high time he put the hostage takers Republicans on the spot for 11 years of failed economic policies that have left us where we are now.  Do you know things are so bad we’re having to strike against jobs we have… like against Verizon and other greedy corporate types.  It’s awful!”  Jack Dumphrey of Cannon Falls voiced a similar opinion “The Republicans would rather protect billionaires from paying their fair share than getting this country back to work again.  Obama has been far too easy on them [Republicans] for far too long… it’s time to get out, loud and proud!”  However, like Washington… there wasn’t total unity in the crowd.  Bob Higgins, a retired businessman also from Cannon Falls said “He [Obama] needs to do a little less vacationing focus on the job at hand and a do a little more working together to help solve the financial crisis we’re in.”

The President concluded his speech in Cannon Falls by declaring “I have given speeches detailed plans on my way forward out of this economic mess.  However, the Party of NO once again would rather see their opponent’s lose than America win.”  White House Press Secretary Jay Carney responded to accusations that the President’s tour “… amounted to a tax payer funded campaign trip” (Speak of the House John Boehner, R-OH) by stating “We resemble resent the insinuation.  To suggest that the President doesn’t have the right or responsibility to leave Washington and campaign connect with the American people is absolutely absurd.”

The President’s caravan bus then departed and snarled traffic for hours continued on its way to the following staged event. Next stop: Decorah, Iowa.



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