Diary

China to Swap $1T in Debt for State of Florida: US Negotiators Try to Find 3rd Country Host for Rick Scott

NOTE: Keep in mind – THIS IS SATIRE 🙂

(read my introduction post for background)

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China to Swap $1T in Debt for State of Florida: US Negotiators Try to Find 3rd Country Host for Rick Scott

Washington, DC

Sources close to the Administration reveal the existence of secret high level discussions with the Chinese government to swap the State of Florida for more than a trillion dollars in US debt.  These sources, who wish to remain anonymous contend that the negotiations are proceeding smoothly exept for a few minor points of contention.

Primarily, the Chinese are insisting that Disney World be renamed Mao’s Place and that Governor Rick Scott be sent back to the continental United States as part of any deal.  According to one unnamed source, the US negotiators are said to be amenable to the name change but are adamantly opposed to Scott’s return.  The search for a possible third country host is thought to be near hopeless problematic as no government approached so far has been willing to accept him.  The list of countries include: UK, France, Germany, Spain…the entire EU, Zimbabwe, South Africa, Kenya, Ethiopa.. the entire continent of Africa, Australia, and Japan; however, the search continues.  When asked for his reaction to the proposed agreement, a confused Governor Scott said:”Let’s get to work.”

Asked what led to the development of these negotiations, which some are now calling “The Florida Purchase” one source attributes the idea to late night host Jimmy Kimmel. “Yes, you’d never believe it, right?  It’s true though.  POTUS is a huge fan of Jimmy Kimmel!  And he knows a good idea when he sees it too.  Well, one night Jimmy made a crack in his monologue about giving Florida to China in exchange for our debt.  POTUS, in his usual visionary way thought “that’s brilliant. And just time for the Nov. elections too.

Reaction to the proposed agreement is mixed.  Speaker of the House, Rep. John Boeher (R-OH) said: “While we have no qualms with the Scott provisions, the idea of giving away a Republican leaning state is unconscionable.  You’d have to be a late night talk show host to think something like that would work anyway.”  Senator Bill Nelson (D-FL) stated: “While we too have no qualms with the Scott provisions, the Mao’s Place idea is a non-starter.  It’s always been Disney World and will always be Disney World.”

Editor’s Note:  We will keep you informed of further developments and political reactions to this late breaking story.

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