Boehner Axes House Pages

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Boehner Axes House Pages

August 10th, 2011 | Add a Comment

Washington, D.C.

House Speaker John Boehner (R-OH) was joined by House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) yesterday to announce that the House Page program was being axed in order to save “…the amount Washington spends in a few hours.” Speaker Boehner went on to explain “these are drastic times that call for drastic measures.  We cannot, in good conscience continue spending the American people’s money like there’s no tomorrow.”

He stressed “The money we save today by eliminating this wasteful program could go towards paying for an even more wasteful program tomorrow.”  Pelosi added that she thought “…it unconscionable that House Republicans want to dismantle such a historic and worthwhile program in order to protect billionaires from paying their fair share…” but decided that the appearance of cutting spending was more important than actual spending cuts and so acquiesced to the  program’s elimination.  Members of the House seemed apprehensive about the loss of their cheap labor young wards but welcomed the move as a “good first step” towards solving the nation’s debt problem.

Several pages offered their view on the demise of the 200 year old program.  Timmy Stanton of Peoria, Ill said “Man, its like so not cool.  I mean, like you know… it’s like, dude…whoa.”  A visibly shaken Justin Blakely of San Diego, CA added “I’m really at a loss. I… just can’t believe they would actually do that to the youth of America. I’m not really sure what I’ll do now.” Blakely was comforted by fellow ex-page Shelly McPherson of Bridgeport, CN who said “It’s going to be alright Justin. We’re going to be just fine.  After all, tomorrow is another day.”

The Senate is so far refusing to follow the House’s lead in doing away with their own Page program.  Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (D-NV) responded defiantly, “there’s no such thing as a wasteful government program.”


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