NPR Reports Plants and Oceans Saving Us From Global Warming

SWEAR I am not making this up. Driving home today I caught a story on National Public Radio that I simultaneously couldn’t believe they aired and also thought was straight-up par for the course. The “science” they reported was, if it were not for the oceans and plants of the world, the planet would be warming much more rapidly than it is, and we would be in deep you-know-what.

I debated whether or not to stop this entry at the conclusion of the previous paragraph as an “nuff said.” (but it was TOO easy). Basically the point was – we better be glad the oceans and plants have our back because if not, we’re screwed. Apparently, the oceans (which cover like 70% of the Earth), and plants (which are pretty persistent even when you RoundUp then) really LOVE carbon emissions. So much so that they’ve dramatically increased the amount of CO2 they can absorb. And this basically explains why all the global warming, er, climate change, that we are supposed to have caused hasn’t happened.

I kid you not when I say the whole tone of the story was “you better be glad and start backing off, because the oceans and plants may get tired of this and stop absorbing so much to teach us a lesson. If the ocean and plants weren’t here,we’d be in a real pickle.”

Yeah. We’d have MAD global warming with all this industry if the Earth didn’t have oceans and plants…wait …

This reminds me of one of the first successful arguments I had with a liberal back in the 90’s when I was but a greenhorn:

ME: I think this global warming thing is just a crock.
LIBERAL: Seriously? You’re an intelligent person. I can’t believe you can’t see how global warming is happening.

ME: plants are good, right?
LIBERAL: yeah, better than factories spewing CO2 in the air.
ME: plants use Carbon Dioxide for food, right?

ME: so if we put more CO2 out there, won’t more plants grow?
LIBERAL: (pause)
ME: (fixed stare)
LIBERAL(longer pause)
ME: (continued fixed stare)
LIBERAL: so you’re saying that the problem might correct itself?
ME: I’m saying it’s not a problem.
LIBERAL: Hmmm (walks off).

All I’m saying is, we need to be nice to the oceans and plants, else they stop absorbing that CO2 stuff they really like.

Great job, NPR. Hopefully mass won’t get tired of causing gravity.