"The Nation" explains the Tea Party

Finally, an exhaustive list into which we can neatly put each and every member. By show of hands, which of the following are you:

  1. Ayn Rand secular libertarians
  2. Fundamentalist Christian evangelicals
  3. Birthers
  4. Birchers
  5. Racists
  6. Xenophobes
  7. Ron Paulites
  8. Cold warriors
  9. Zionists
  10. Constitutionalists
  11. Vanilla Republicans looking for a high
  12. Militia-style survivalists

I suppose tangentially (and partially) I could qualify for at least four (secular libertarian, cold warrior, Zionist, Constitutionalist) and simply by virtue of my opposition to socialized medicine, five (racist) designations, which would mean that I’m almost 50% pure tea partier.


Of course, as if it needed to be said, this list is both incomplete and completely idiotic, but we wouldn’t want to hurt Mr. Kim’s heightened Asian sensibilities now would we.

(Ok now it’s definitely five)

In an article primarily explaining the Cloward-Piven theory from the Left’s perspective, Mr. Kim notes that one of the reasons why Cloward-Piven is eaten up by the tea party and the Right is because of its versatility; every group mentioned above can find somethingattributable to Cloward-Piven.

Personally, I’m not much of a Cloward-Piven conspiracy theorist for the simple reason that the liberal foot soldiers responsible for carrying out the conspiracy just aren’t very bright as a rule. I’d go so far as to say the vast majority of liberal rank and file are too stupid to do their own taxes, let alone execute a far-reaching conspiracy intended to hasten the fall of Capitalism. (On the other hand, we all know that a good number of the liberal elite can’t do their own taxes either, so perhaps I need a more cogent illustration)

Don’t get me wrong, there can be little serious argument that the Left in general and its leaders in particular most certainly want to hasten the fall of Capitalism, I just don’t think the “performance artists” at ACORN, Project Vote or the Nation for that matter are smart enough to do so willingly.

Wasn’t it nice of the Nation to categorize the entire tea party for us though? Give yourselves a round of applause Nationites.

In any event, I can tell you that the overwhelming majority of tea partiers I’ve met couldn’t self-identify with a single one of Mr. Kim’s categorizations; most of the movement never cared about, thought of or discussed politics or philosophy outside of their own families before 2009…which I suppose makes them de facto racists because we just happened to inaugurate our first mulatto President in January of that year.

I stand corrected.

Recognize though that Mr. Kim’s list is really nothing more than another, more realistic strategy in which the Left has engaged for a century now; divide, categorize and demonize any individual or group with whom they disagree or from whom they perceive a threat to the imposition of their worldview.

I for one have a lot of work to do to make myself the purebred tea partier I need to be.

Or I could just settle for being called an American.