Yes, Obama, there is a Capitalist Claus

Dear God, I am 47 years old. Rahmm Emmanuel says there is no Capitalist Claus. George Soros says if you see it on PMS MSNBC, it must be so.
Please tell me the truth, (or I’ll sue you), is there a Capitalist Claus?

Barack Obama
1600 Pennsylvania Ave (you know, George Bush’s house)
Washington, DC

Obama, your liberal friends are wrong. They have been affected by the skepticism of a skeptical age (I’ll say). They do not believe except what they FEEL. They think that nothing can be earned by hard work, which is not comprehensible to their little, overtaxing little minds. All minds, Obama, whether they be tax and spend liberals or wrong minded Socialists are little. In this great universe of freedom and opportunity, liberals are mere insects, or tax stinging spiders in their intellect, as compared by an intelligence of opportunity and hard work when using your God given intelligence capable of grasping the whole, beautiful world of economic truth and common sense-like intelligence.

Yes, Obama, there is a Capitalist Claus. He exists as certainly as love and generosity and achievement to others exist, and you know that they abound and give to your life its highest self satisfaction and joy.
Alas, how poor would the world be if there were no Capitalist Claus. It would be as poor and dreary as if there were no Wal Marts, 4 Wheelers or Chuckie Cheeses. There would be no grocery stores full of reasonably priced, fresh food, no companies to start or employees to hire and no inventions to benefit all the world. The light of the freemarket which fils America with unlimited opportunities would be extinguished.

Not believe in Capitalist Claus! You might as well believe in fairies! (That’s right, Nancy Pelosi already does!) You might get your papa (Is he a US citizen?) to hire men in loin clothes (like they wear in his home country) to watch all of the malls and shopping centers to catch Capitalist Claus. But even if they did not belieive in the wondrous bounty of freedom loving capitalists, what would that prove? Everybody sees Capitalist Claus in every state of the union. The most taxes are paid in the world by capitalist who embrace unlimited opportunity that neither liberals or socialists can see or understand. Did you ever see the fairies dancing in the San Francisco Halloween parade. Of course not, because no self respecting parent would let you see or imagine all the crudities and abominations that should be unseen and unseeable in the world.

They may try to tear apart America’s capitalists, to see why they are so successful at creating wealth instead of redistributing it (maybe you should write a book?)but there is an iron shield of freedom and opportunity which not even the most jealous man, nor even the united strength of all of the envious liberals that ever lived, could tear apart. Only faith, hope, poetry, love, romance can push aside their liberal curtain to view the supernatural beauty and glory of a man who stands on his own two feet! IS CAPITALISM FOR REAL? Ah, Obama, in all this world there is nothing else more real and abiding.

No Capitalist Claus! Thank God! Capitalism lives and will live forever. A thousand years from now, Obama, nay, ten thousand years from now, Capitalism and personal freedom will continue to make glad the heart of free men everywhere.