Senators? Read? Nay.

Hold on. Sen. Max Baucus is giggling and he’s making me giggle, too. Oh the whimsy of it all!

clearing throat I’m over it.

On a cold day in December, while Americans hustle about their holiday preparations – spending less and saving nothing – a Senator in the capital decided to create a little light reading. Taking the steaming bowl of excrement known as the Senate’s ObamaCare bill, Sen. Bernie Sanders decided to add an amendment. A trifle thing, really. Only 767 pages to insert a single-payer system.

Then stockings were hung by the chimney with care in hopes that national bankruptcy wouldn’t find us there.

Sen. Tom Coburn decided an amendment such as this should be read. And since his fellow Senators aren’t really into reading, as a Christmas gift to all, he demanded the Senate clerk read the entire amendment on the floor. Not the bill, mind you. Only the amendment.

This was Democrat Sen. Max Baucus’s response. chuckle, chuckle And what a giddly response it was, like sugar plum fairies and sneaky mistletoe.

I cannot certify giggle that members of the Senate will understand giggle what they’re reading. That presumes a certain level of perception on my part in understanding in delving in the minds of Senators that not only that they read chuckle but that they’ve taken the time to understand.

Oh Baucus. You silly nilly.
His argument to reading the amendment, let alone the bill, is that he has no idea if his fellow Senators have the reading comprehension skills of a second grader. To read? And also understand? This cannot be determined! It’s too much to ask!

Coburn then explains to Baucus, in the simplest terms possible so that a cricket could understand, that he isn’t asking for Baucus to certify his fellow Senators have the brain capacity to read and understand, but for each Senator to “certify themselves.”
In other words, like the rest of the functioning adult population, that Senators must read the bill and accept – when everything goes to h-e-double hockey sticks – they are responsible for their votes. To face their consituents.

Oh contraire! Baucus refutes. You can’t expect Senators to know what the bloody blue blazes they are voting on, do you? Do you Coburn? Huh? Huh? Do you? Do you really think these grown men and women can actually perform their duties? And then be culpable for their own decisions? How absurd.
I mean, hey Coburn, if you want to say you read something and understood it, you go ahead pal. Knock yourself out.

Coburn responds with a simple question:

“The Senator won’t accept that we as a body, on 1/6th of the economy, ought to say that we know what we’re doing?”

Nay. They were elected to make speeches, take junkets, kiss babies of various skin colors, and appear on The Colbert Report, not giggle, giggle read.