Diary

The Royals Must Not Be Denied Their Pizza

Only the little people must worry about their carbon footprints. We are told that global warming is a grave and dire threat to our nation and planet, but apparently it is still a small matter compared to the culinary desires of our Royal family. The Royals are throwing a pizza party at the White House and they are having their favorite pizza flown in from Saint Louis, Missouri.

Of course, it takes the British press to state the obvious absurdity of an 850 mile pizza run. The American press seems to think it’s a cute little story.

I’m sure presidents do this sort of thing all the time. However, they didn’t constantly lecture the little people about their carbon footprints and preach doomsday global warming scenarios.

Mr. Preseident, I thought the seas were rising. I thought you promised to stop them. May I suggest Dominos you freaking hypocrite.