Dear Red State- Congressional Race Anxiety Syndrome

Dear Red State is an advice column for the politically perplexed. We are inclusive, compassionate conservatives, so feel free to differ. After all, the questioner is getting what he/she paid for!

Dear Red State:

I am feeling very depressed about our Congressional prospects in 2008. Everyone says the GOP is inevitably going to have major losses. This will give Speaker Pelosi and her associates more power than ever. I feel trapped by the enveloping malaise of militant matriarchy, nannying me to death. Is effort pointless?.

Morose in Madison

Dear Morose:

While I do sympathize with your angst, it is imperative that you transcend feelings of powerless and overwhelming domination by the mother figure represented by Madame Speaker. I am a disciple of noted psychologist Dr. Niles Crane (yes, the one related to the famous radio personality*) and firmly agree with him that the Jungian path to mental health is much better than the Freudian. So there will be no blaming mother here!

As right-thinking Jungians, we believe everyone can achieve their inner potential and become the very essence of what they were meant to be, successful advocates of the properly limited government that is the cornerstone of our democracy.

When you look at the record of the incumbent Congress, it should not be too hard to get motivated and achieve this potential. After all, their record consists of:

  1. Moving into their new offices.
  2. Advocating a disastrous retreat from Iraq, which has been rejected by the public.
  3. Hatching new spending plans.
  4. Opposing the public’s demand for reliable energy supplies
  5. Breathing.

Furthermore, their party is lead by a glib neophyte who is rubbing substantial segments of his own party the wrong way, especially the “sweetie” vote.

So it’s really up to you. Do you want to endlessly roam around the Freudian hallways, moaning about the powers that oppress you? (In which case, the ObamaCare plan will offer plenty of therapy after your tax increases go into effect.)

Or will you get off your @$$ and do what you are meant to do?

I say- go with plan B!

* Under the revised Fairness Doctrine, Dr. Niles will be suing Dr. Fraser’s employer to get equal time for the Jungian point of view, so there will be a silver lining in any Democratic sweep. For him, anyway. He has never been the same since the cutoff from Maris’ trust fund.