Mugabe, Ahmadinejad, and Kim Jong Il protest New York Times

The New York Times no doubt expected to take some flak for its publication Monday of an Op-ed piece by terrorist Mahmoud Abbas, but one doubts whether this was what they had in mind. On Tuesday, spokesmen for despotic ruler of Zimbabwe and platinum-earning rap artist Robert (Kronic) Mugabe issued a statement decrying the publication in light of the fact that the Old Gray Lady has rejected every one of Mugabe’s numerous submissions, despite the fact they were all written in rhyme. “In Zimbabwe,” the spokesman said, “we have eradicated the oppression of the white man, but it’s clear that the same cannot be said for the New York Times.”

On the same day, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, President of Iran and “Mo” of Mugabe’s globally popular rap group, “Kronic Mo-Go,” made his own protest known, asserting that the ‘Times was not only racist, but Islama-phobic as well. “There can be no question,” Mo said, “that if I were a Jew, my letters to the editors would all have been published, instead of being shamelessly suppressed. Likewise with my cartoons.”

Today saw the third strike against the paper. Leader of the Democratic Peoples’ Republic of Korea, Kim Jong Il, posted a video on You Tube, in which he excoriated the Times for its failure to share his enlightenment with the impoverished people of the decadent western world. Kim, who appeared to be naked in the clip, rolled in pans of bright pigments before flinging himself onto large sheets of rice paper, creating art which, he said, “demonstrated the virtue and energy of the people of the Peoples’ Republic,” while reciting free verse that questioned the intelligence and lineage of New York Times’ publisher “Pinch” Sulzberger.