Dear You the People:

I was recently directed to a document written by you, the “We the People” group, when I mentioned to someone that I would like to have some say in the laws that I am forced to live by. Despite the claims of that document, You the People seem to claim full control over every aspect of my life. I’ve tried to tell you I don’t want your government handouts, and you respond by forcibly taking my money to pay for them. When I tell you I want freedom to believe however I choose, you threaten me with prison when I don’t celebrate your homosexual behavior. I tell you I want freedom to associate with whom I please, and you respond by telling me who belongs in my bathroom.

You the People say “If you don’t like it, vote!” I have voted to regain the rights that your document says I already have. But I discovered that even if I mobilize my entire city, the only thing my vote influences is the color of the library shelves. No matter our community’s opinion about the library bathroom, You the People dictate who we go to the bathroom with.

To obtain any supposed “right” You list in your document, I must either join your elites, or somehow convince all of You the People at once and hope you don’t reinterpret my meaning next year. As a result I’ve never won a single battle that matters, ever. I’ve resorted to taking pleasure for what You call “gridlock” simply because it fosters the hope that at least more freedom won’t be taken away. But even that has proved a false hope, just like my hope that You were ready to be done with liars and cheats as your representatives. Now that You the People have nominated Kenneth Lay and Bernie Madoff for supreme leaders, I’m resorting to begging for mercy.

Please, please limit how much you force on me. I’ve come to realize all I can do is plead; that I don’t actually have a say with You. But in return for your mercy, I promise to remain Your serf as long as oppression in Your country is better than oppression elsewhere.