Photo ID is racist unless it’s neccessary for your security and your gala event. And your name is TheOne.
The latest reports say there won’t be near enough porta pottys for this big bash. Maybe the miracle of Cana will be reperformed in Chicago and instead of limitless wine, porta pottys will materialize.
If not, I can see it now: homeless folks (aka registered voters who live on park bench #9) peeing on your kid’s shoes.