Cross posted at http://rpmullins.wordpress.com/i-formally-enter-my-name-for-the-republican-nomination-in-2012
Just for the record this is my satire for the morning and yes I know that it’s over 3 years away but hey, now is the time.
With the sinking poll numbers of the current president tanking, now is the time for a big burly white guy to step up. You ask who is this man and I will tell you. I’m multi-ethnic and have a sympathy for all things. I hear you and I think the same as you do. For the birhters, I’ll give you a look my birth certificate. I have nothing to hide, my birth certificate from the state of North Carolina is genuine. For the truthers, I’ll find the real people involved in 9/11, you know that evil Bush and Cheney. They have people in the Middle East for to do this stuff and I will expose them. Nothing gets past me. Not even the bug on the floor. I’ll focus in on everything.
For the pro-abortion crowd, I promise not to press charges of murder on you. I’ll live and let die. For the anti-abortion crowd, I work on congress to make a bill to overturn the judicial fiat on Roe v Wade. I’m already the candidate for all things to all people. No person or animal gets left out. All have there share. I’m willing to have open debate and all things will be transparent, I promise.
There is no need to worry about my age since I will be 35 at the time of swearing in. In fact I’ll be 35 yrs 7mo and 19days old at the time of swearing in as President. So, for the record I’ll be the youngest president ever. Teddy Roosevelt, eat your heart out in you grave. I’m sure I can get the 18-24 demographic in therms of voting. Some like one of there peers. A get out the vote drive is going to be on it’s way.
You say what about money, it doesn’t matter anymore since we are printing money in the basement. I’m sure by 2012, Money will be outlawed in favor of credits. So don’t worry about how many dollars I need, think of how many credits I need.
If you want a candidate that stands on principal, I’m your man. I make promises that I can keep unlike others. I’m a person that is grounded in reality.
I need to wrap this up or you might know everything on my platform before 2012 and that’s not good.
Just remember, Richard Mullins,Richard Mullins,Richard Mullins and Richard Mullins. If you say you name 4 times it might sink in and I did just that.