Good News: Rhode Island Sucks!

Cross-posted on Right Michigan at www.RightMichigan.com.

That’s right, ladies and gentlemen, that tiny little land mass out on the east coast officially sucks.  They have the highest unemployment rate in the entire nation, at a staggering 8.8%!  Losers.  What kind of a state government do they have pulling strings out there in liberal la-la-land?  

50th out of 50.  Pathetic. You can’t see me right now but if you could you’d see, Rhode Island, that I’m pointing at you with one hand and covering my mouth with the other, trying to hide the fact that I’m snickering uncontrollably at your bad fortune.  OK, so technically I was typing but I’m about to point and snicker.  Wait for it…

There.  (Now back to typing.)

See, I think I’m entitled to poke a little fun.  To kick you while you’re down.  Because Michigan isn’t ranked 50th in unemployment.  YOU are.  See, here in Michigan we only have an 8.7% unemployment rate.  We’ve got things all figured out.  Yup, you read that right.  8.7%!  Wish you were us, don’t you, Rhode Island.

But you’re not.  We’re the Wolverine State and you’re, what, the Ocean State or something goofy like that?  Last I checked, wolverines kick the ocean’s butt.  So naner naner and all of that.

Read on…

Who’d have ever thought 8.7% unemployment could feel so grand?  And hey, that’s only a couple of points higher than it was when we re-elected Jennifer Granholm and John Cherry a couple of years back.  So that’s something.  Plus, now we can officially say “hey, it could be worse!”

Then again, it could be better, too.  I suppose in an ideal world we’d be somewhere closer to the national average.  Who among us wouldn’t settle for 7% at this point?  Then again, if the latest polls are any indication, most Michigan voters are ready to settle for 8.7%.  Carl Levin, a thirty-year incumbent and the state’s top man in Washington, DC amidst this financial crisis continues to outpoll Jack Hoogendyk.

Most Michigan voters are expected to bow the knee at the altar of big government and incumbency to send Mr. Levin and his condescending eye glasses right back to the Capitol city where he can continue to under perform, embarrass the nation on foreign policy and sit on the sidelines pretending not to hear while folks like Senator John McCain sound warning bells and alarms and claxons years in advance of giant collapses like those at Fannie and Freddie.  Yep, Levin was there a few years back when McCain said `HELP!  THIS IS BAD!’  Did he lift a finger?  Nope.  

But that isn’t to say there isn’t still a remnant here in Michigan, unwilling to go along with the same old cast of characters.  There’s a remnant who REALLY voted for change in 2006 and a remnant who will REALLY vote for change in 2008.  

Towards that end, Jack Hoogendyk welcomed to Michigan yesterday former Presidential candidate and the hero of many SoCos, Mike Huckabee.

“Remember this: The happy warrior, Ronald Reagan, in 1980, was about 15 points down one week before the election,” Hoogendyk said. “And that’s about where I am. And we still have almost two weeks. So we have plenty of time to catch him.”

Huckabee said the main reasons he supports Hoogendyk is because of Hoogendyk’s pro-life stance, support of the Second Amendment and his belief in balancing the federal budget. Hoogendyk opposes the $700 billion Wall Street bailout recently passed by Congress.

“I wish Jack had been there on the bailout vote,” Huckabee said. “Because there aren’t too many of us who really did understand this is the craziest, dumbest thing that Congress has done in a long time.”

Amen to that, Governor.  

Carl Levin voted YES on the bailout.  Carl Levin ignored Fannie and Freddie while John McCain screamed warnings from the rooftops.  Carl Levin, after 30 years in Washington still only brings back 92 cents for every dollar Michigan sends his way.  Everyone and their mom says it’s time to vote for change.

I know where we should start.