Diary

Biden banking an awful lot on one "Dating Game" appearance

Cross-posted on Right Michigan at www.RightMichigan.com.

By now you’ve all heard that Democratic Vice Presidential nominee Joe “Dunkin Donuts” Biden has asked Jennifer Granholm to stand in as Sarah Palin during his campaign debate prep.  She’ll be calling on her experience in the Hollywood audition room and six years worth of acting the part of a governor well enough to fool the voters, if not job makers and business owners.

Honestly, it is an inspired choice.  The two governors share a lot of similar material in their bios.  Both spent time on TV, both won small town beauty pageants, both are the first female governors in the history of their states… of course, there are differences too.

This morning’s news that Ford Motor Company is looking to kill another 4,200 jobs, for instance, represents a pretty common headline theme here in Michigan.  They aren’t used to that in Alaska.

And nowhere in Alaska is there a city like Detroit, with scandal plagued Democratic Party leadership either on their way to jail or under federal investigation.  Or being formally reprimanded by other members of the asylum.

But those are experiences that Jennifer Granholm has that Sarah Palin lacks.  What’s important in the governor’s attempt to help the ultra-liberal Senator from Delaware is her ability to pretend she has those Alaskan experiences.  

That’s where we come in… conservatives are pretty helpful people so I figured it’d be nice to come up with a list of things the Governor of the state of Michigan should practice really, really hard that she doesn’t experience every day on her own.  I’ll get us started.

Read on…

Experiences Sarah Palin has that Jennifer Granholm lacks include:

  • Eighty-plus percent statewide approval ratings.  This one shouldn’t be too tough for Biden’s pal, though, since she enjoyed some decent numbers herself… once upon a time…. half a decade ago.
  • NOT having the highest unemployment rate in America.  This one will be a little bit tougher.  Up until a few years ago Alaska actually had a higher unemployment rate than Michigan but that changed and the pendulum has never swung back.  Governor Palin took over and they keep getting better while we keep sliding further and faster down the jobless pit.
  • Having her ability to lead / campaign / govern while being a parent questioned by “Neanderthals” like Daniel Granholm Mulhern.  Michigan’s First Gentleman viscously smeared Governor Palin as a rotten mother only a week ago because she has the gall to run for office despite the fact she has young children.  Mr. Mulhern failed to level these sexist attacks against his wife when she ran for Attorney General and then Governor with small children still at home.  Or against anyone else for that matter.

    On the upside, Granholm can use Dan at home to help prep on this one.

  • Living her faith and protecting innocent life.  Sarah Palin’s faith demands the protection of defenseless, voiceless human beings.  Sarah Palin stands up for defenseless, voiceless human beings.

    Jennifer Graholm’s faith demands the protection of defenseless, voiceless human beings.  Jennifer Granholm turns her back on defenseless, voiceless human beings and even vetoes laws designed to protect them from things like having scissors jabbed into their necks and their brains vacuumed out of their skulls.

    I’d personally recommend the Governor re-read the second chapter of James, verses fifteen through seventeen, if she needs to prick her own conscience a little before prepping this one.

  • Battling her own political party.  Governor Palin has literally made a career out of attacking the baser elements in her own party, defeating the bums and removing them from office.  She saw corruption in the Governor’s office so she ran against another Republican and beat him.  She saw corruption in the United States Senate so she took her LG and ran him against the incumbent Republican Senator too.

    Jennifer Granholm saw corruption in Detroit for years, was asked by the City Council to remove the corrupt mayor months and months ago and only last week, after watching and waiting and wringing her hands did she even bother to convene a hearing.  Just in time for a guilty plea in the court system that took her fellow Democrat off her hands.  Veeeery brave.

  • Giving tax dollars BACK to taxpayers.  Governor Palin’s economic policies created a surplus in Alaska.  She returned part of it to taxpayers.  Governor Granholm’s economic policies create regular, annual, massive budget deficits.  She raises taxes on her constituents and is now even promoting an “energy” plan that will dramatically increase rates and taxes on consumers again… just in time for the long, cold, Michigan winter.

    These really represent only the tip of the iceberg when it comes to the actual differences between Palin and Granholm.  Whether it’s job creation versus job killing, differences in tax policy or views on government regulation of the workplace and home, the women couldn’t be more different.  Joe Biden is banking a lot on Granholm’s performance.  He’d better hope she’s a better actor than that spectacularly-short-lived career in Hollywood seems to indicate.