Charles Hugh Smith Argues For Barack H. Obama’s GOP Nomination. (How Not To Define Modern Conservatism)

So-called “Conservatives” claim to want small government, but they can’t resist fattening themselves at the trough of the Central State/Savior State.

– Charles Hugh Smith (HT: Of Two Minds)

Charles Hugh Smith, the normally highly rational writer of the Of Two Minds Blog, seems greatly unimpressed with what he describes as the hypocritical Conservative Project. Wow, after reading his marvelous post on whom those evil, diabolical Conservatives are, I’m genuinely relieved not to be one. Of course, by way of disclosure, I’m a lifelong Conservative who personally believes that Mr. Smith left the one of his two minds that handles higher cognitive functions at home when he sat down to author today’s entry to his blog.

Like Cicero indicting Cataline, he blames Conservatives for every pile of gross hypocrisy that he has ever stepped in as he strolled along the quaint and stately lane of American politics. He begins his rapier thrust of polemics with the statement below.

So-called “Conservatives” claim to want small government, but they can’t resist fattening themselves at the trough of the Central State/Savior State.

(Smith Ob. Cit.)

To which I can reply that he has blogged against Conservatives without having bothered reading what the grass roots are saying. I, myself, started a lively discussion on so-called Savior State entitlements in which I strongly recommended admitting Social Security was Marxist, calling FICA a Poor Tax and facing the obvious reality that since 1983, every dollar collected by this tax got shunted into the general revenue fund and thereby urinated away by Congress.

Mr. Smith then has the unmitigated gall to tell me that “no, you did not “pay your fair share.” The vast majority of these State benefits are welfare, paid by other taxpayers.” The amount of fiscal and moral delusion required to actually believe that a man in his early 40’s, like RMJ, will ever see a dime of Social Security is staggering. What I suggested in my SS piece was quite literally the diametric opposite of the selfish hedonism he accuses me of pursuing as a grounding political philosophy.

I argue that we should means test Social Security, rank perspective replacements in inverse order of net worth and then cap payments to equal the receipts of the FICA Tax. This would put me off the list of potential recipients. I’m attempting to convince my fellow compatriots over on the right to pass legislation that will cause me to take a substantial haircut.

Having sent that missive of unrelenting ignorance downrange; Mr. Smith reloads for another salvo of idiocy. So-called “Conservatives” are against Central State ownership, except when the State gives the immensely profitable mineral rights to their cronies for private exploitation. Which explains why a Charles Hugh Smith Conservative Administration, in 2009, was lining to give British Petroleum an environmental conservation reward – right before the Deepwater Horizon Oil Spill. This was right after BP had given Charles Hugh Smith Conservative Candidate Barack Obama major campaign contributions in his quest for higher office.

Smith progress form ironic ad hominem to the predictable “Progressive” line on “Versailles upon the Potomac.” So-called “Conservatives” love to pronounce their support of “national defense,” but this is just another form of self-serving complicity–i.e. living large by leeching off the Central State. It was in the course of securing The Boeing Company a plum contract to build Air Force refueling tankers that stalwart Charles Hugh Smith Conservative Governor of Washington, Christine Gregoire, wrote to Charles Hugh Smith Conservative President Barack H. Obama to complain that the EADS tanker would be built primarily by Europeans and would only be competitive due to subsidies being paid by French people.

At this point, belly-scratching, bed-wetting Charles Hugh Smith Liberals, including Governors, Bentley of Alabama, Jindal of Louisiana, and Barbour of Mississippi sought redress from Cold-Hearted and Plutocratic Charles Hugh Smith Conservative, President Obama.

…wrote to President Obama on Wednesday that the illegal subsidies “are far from conclusively determined by the World Trade Organization,” that Boeing also received illegal subsidies and that EADS would produce its tankers in Mobile, creating “a much-needed economic ripple effect across a Gulf Coast region still reeling from natural and man-made disasters.”

(HT: Seattle PI, as linked above).

Having passed beyond idiocy, into the dark and gloomy realms of ignorant political meme, Charles Hugh Smith saw no reason to stop and catch his wind. He then gave us this description of those iniquitous so-called Conservatives.

So-called “Conservatives” are for “limited government,” unless they can wield its coercive powers to shove their value system down everyone’s throats.

(HT: Charles Hugh Smith – he gets to own this quote to his demise.)

Now is there any means of shoving the value system of a tyrannical majority down America’s throat that quite rivals ObamaCare? I can’t even begin to think of it. Are you outraged that abortions are safe, legal and merely rare? Can we fund Planned Parenthood to the hilt using taxpayer dollars? Today is the day we make those Gun-Nut, Tea-Bagging, !RACISTS! fund abortions, in accordance with our superior system of morals, out their Crystal Meth Funds. YES. WE. CAN.

Oh, and then there’s the selective enforcement of Federal Laws such as The Defense of Marriage Act. Since when did any US President have a valid opinion on the Constitutionality of duly passed and signed legislation? We have a Supreme Court to work through that one. A US President doesn’t take an oath of office promising to enforce only the Federal Jurisprudence that he happens to think is kind of neat. It requires a Charles Hugh Smith Conservative like Barack H. Obama to do that.

Charles Hugh Smith Conservatives have terrible perceptual difficulties as well. So-called “Conservatives” fail to distinguish between the Financial Elite’s cartel-crony capitalism that depends on the Central State and true capitalism. You see, Charles H. Smith Conservatives let Wall Street Robber-Barons go through the revolving door between DC and NY. This explains why Charles Hugh Smith Conservative, Barack H. Obama made Timothy Geithner his Treasury Secretary soon after winning the 2008 election. It also explains the $994K investment that Goldman Sachs was willing to make in the procurement of a Barack H. Obama, 1, each. Charles Hugh Smith Conservatives just don’t come as cheaply as they used to.

Given that Charles Hugh Smith knows what a Conservative is so much better than anyone else within the hegemony of Blogostan, and given that few politicians meet the high standards required to be a genuine Charles Hugh Smith Conservative, I offer my six constant readers at Redstate.Com the following modest proposal. Only one man willing to take the job of being POTUS fulfills all the various and sundry qualifications Charles Hugh Smith requires of a true Conservative. Just one man can bring our varied and diverse movement to the state where it actually meets what Charles Hugh Smith describes us to be.

I therefore suggest that the GOP scrap the entire primary season and nominate, by acclimation, Barack H. Obama. He is the only politician out there that truly qualifies as a Conservative under Charles Hugh Smith’s daunting gauntlet of standards. That is, of course, if anyone is actually drunk enough to believe Charles Hugh Smith is capable of giving a remotely fair definition of what it is to be a Conservative.