Bill Clinton Is NOT Succeeding As Winston Wolfe

Just because you are a character doesn’t mean that you have character.

-Winston Wolfe (HT: IMDB)

So what do the Democrats want from Bill Clinton right about now? It’s a good question and the answer would depend upon which one you asked. A more pointed and accurate one would be what does Bill Clinton want for himself? Apparently, he wants to spend his Ex-Presidential years serving as Winston Wolfe, the ultimate Political Cleaner. Like Winston Wolfe, Bill Clinton gets called in by Democrats to make unpleasantness disappear.

The latest example of this sort of unpleasantness was Florida Democratic Senate Candidate Kendrick Meeks. One of the few genuine recruiting success stories the Democrats have enjoyed this Fall involved getting “Independent” Charlie Crist to become a stealth Democrat and attempt to derail Republican Marco Rubio, after Rubio defeated Crist in the GOP Primary.

The only fly in the ointment involved the fact the Democratic Party of Florida conducted a primary as well. This primary resulted in Kendrick Meek emerging with the Democratic Party’s nomination. Employing basic and straight-forward ratiocination to the situation led Kendrick Meek to the following chain of logical syllogism. “I won the Florida Democratic Senatorial Primary -> This implies that I, Kendrick Meek am the Democratic Party’s Senatorial Candidate -> This would further imply that Barack Obama and the rest of the party would support MY candidacy; not Charlie Crist’s, for the open Florida Senate Seat.”

The flaw in his logical reasoning came from the fact that the Democrats live on ObamaWorld; not Earth. Surprisingly, African-American President Barack Obama, who had won Florida’s Electoral Votes in Election 2008, lacked faith in the ability of African–American Candidate Kendrick Meeks’ ability to win in Florida. Besides, he liked Charlie Crist in a manner reminiscent of how much he liked Lincoln Chafee up in Rhode Island. Thus, Kendrick Meeks would require surgical removal from the Democratic Party’s Senatorial slot on the ticket.

Meeks’ dead body in the back of the car would be inconvenient to say the least. Crist would not be able to legally force Meeks off the Senatorial Ticket. There seemed to be no handy divorce record available to unseal.

The ability of Kendrick Meeks to live a basically righteous life, while involving himself in civic endeavor, was creating a major inconvenience. So Crist went for the soft kill and spread rumors of Meeks dropping out of his own accord. Meeks responds forcefully below.

“I’m not going anywhere except the United States Senate,” Meek released in a statement today. “Because if they want to go back to the Bush years, they’re going to have to go through this six foot three inch former state trooper.”

– Kendrick Meeks – 15Oct2010 (HT: NBC Miami)

With that avenue blocked, it was time to call in reinforcements. Like Jules and Vincent riding around with the cadaver, Charlie Crist had a situation on his hands. If all three men ran, Crist and Meek split the non-Republican vote 50/50 and Rubio easily won in a walk.

Crist vs. Rubio would be more winnable a la Liebermann’s win in 2006. But it wouldn’t be if every African-American voter in Florida hated Crist’s guts for violently rubbing out a black candidate who won the Senatorial Primary straight-up, fair-and-square. It was time to call in Winston Wolfe.

Much to Crist’s demise, Winston Wolfe had other deals to work, and Bill Clinton got sent out by Murder Inc. as a surrogate. Clinton acknowledges two conversations with Meek about dropping his bid. Clinton noticed that Meeks lacked the advertising money that Democratic Party groups seemed intent on providing to Charlie Crist. He tried the New Jack City line of reasoning on Meek. “Money talks, bull (edit) runs the marathon, see ya, but I wouldn’t wanna’ be ya!”

This gambit seemed promising. It just appeared it would work. And then, oh yeah, Kendrick Meeks remembered that he’d won his Primary and wasn’t named “Uncle Tom.” Clinton stressed that discussing this matter directly with President Obama wasn’t prudent at this juncture. Yeah, as President Bush I would have quipped. “Wouldn’t.Be.Prudent.”

Of course, the White House has been trying to gently fire Kendrick Meeks for a long time. They got burned directly asking Bill Clinton to do this to Joe Sestak, so they were letting it be known that Clinton could really help the party out if he did this entirely on his own initiative. Yeah, after Sestak-Gate, Meeks would not have gotten much better than cordial a reception from The White House. It would have gone over about as well as Alvin Greene suggesting that Barack Obama join him for a golf outing.

The bottom line here is that Bill Clinton may well be done. He’s a better endorsement than Barack Obama at this point, but then again, Alf Landon had more firepower than Herbert Hoover in 1935. Bill Clinton is supposed to fix things up the way it was done in Hot Springs, Arkansas. It’s just that Joe Sestak, Kendrick Meeks, Joe Manchin, and hordes of other Democrats really don’t consider themselves anywhere nearly as broken as Barack Obama. Right about now, they secretly wish Bill’s wife Hillary could have fixed THAT problem in 2008.