Gather Your Nut-Jobs (And Keef Olberloon Will Give You 15 Minutes of Fame)

Rick Barber and Keith Olbermann reinforce one another. They are symbiotic and one feeds the other. One man, Rick Barber is a Conservative idiot. Keith Olbermann, who we all know and love, basically defies accurate description and needs to be diagnosed with reference to the appropriate axis of the DSM. This makes him a good representative of “Progressive” America. The two men are good for one another, even if they both remind me of an annoying poem by Yeats where the center does not hold.

Barber is in a run-off for the GOP nomination to disinfect the 2nd Congressional District in Alabama. This region is currently infested by Democrat Bobby Bright. His primary opponent, Mrs. Martha Roby has three unfair advantages. She has wisdom, experience and a record of reasonable success in local government. She, like Mo Brooks, up in Huntsville, has actually governed something before. She is steady, unspectacular, and doesn’t waste our time or money on “Hope and Change.”

But Rick Barber is the Tea Party Candidate! And he has really cool Revolutionary War Era campaign ads. If I were still young, and (even more) stupid, I’d be listening to Guns-N-Roses CDs, smashing beer cans against my head, and have Rick Barber bumper stickers all over my car.

His ad features a scene in a bar. He’s just finished powering down the flux capacitors, because the year is 2010, and he’s chilling with his home-slice Samuel Adams. The first line of the ad is “..and I’d impeach him.” For what? Heck if I know. Immoral and illegal are not necessarily synonymous. Barack Obama has risen to the top of the harbor like a piece of garbage based upon the difference.

Then he makes some fairly decent points about how the IRS runs our lives and spies on our businesses. If he were exhorting us all to favor a flat-tax that you could fill out on a post card and mail back to DC, this would be a good, logical issue to campaign against the DEMs (and most GOPers) on. He then rails against ObamaCare. In my humble opinion, he’s not off the good logic reservation just yet.

But then, the moon rises and the Curse of The Whack-Job takes over. He dramatically slams his finger on the copy of The US Constitution that you find in every dive bar across Alabama. “I swore an oath to defend this!” He declares with Shakespearian grandiloquence. “Are you with me?” He demands.

And then, like in any truly awful Hollywood Sword and Sorcery Movie we get the deep, resonant bass voice over. “Gather Your Armies!” The Noble Prince Metallica commands it! Perhaps, if Rick Barber actually pulls this thing out, that same voice can tell us “Know, O Prince, that between the years when the ocean drank Atlantis and the Rise of the sons of Aryas, there was an age undreamed of…” (HT: The Conan Completist)

Normal people ridicule Rick Barber. Keith Olbermann, on the other hand, is drawn to this stuff. He’s like a dog just discovering a new fire hydrant in obvious need of a urine bath. The poor guy can’t control his obsessive compulsions. He makes a flailing candidate, who can’t afford to buy his campaign staff chili dogs and Coca-Colas, a You-Tube legend.

Know well Prince Metallica, The Menacing Keith Uber-Whack has just dubbed Rick Barber…. The Worst Person In The World.

He accuses Barber of Sedition! He accuses Barber of Treason!!!!!!!!!! The guy filming the segment had to pull the camera back ten feet. The picture gets blurry when that much spittle flies onto the lens. When Tea-Partiers expectorate that much in the direction of minority Members of Congress, they get accused of racism.

It was the best thing that could have happened for Loser, Nut Job Candidate Rick Barber. It also sold as ad or two for PMS-NBC. Hopefully, it didn’t inflict too much damage on the commonweal above and beyond that which our lying, sensationalistic media exacts every day.

A well-balanced individual enjoys the theatre of Rick Barber, but doesn’t take him any more seriously than they would Barry Commoner or a bad 1980’s Heavy Metal band. The viral success of this ad is a tribute to both Rick Barber’s schlocky sense of cool and to how badly President Barack Obama has mismanaged America. Keith Olbermann’s ridiculous overreaction is a testament to how well the truly dedicated Leftist knows that they have screwed up America.

Olbermann’s response to Barber will show up on Barber’s Facebook Page for Deracinated Idgits. There will be a button beneath labeled “Donate Now!” Those who have consumed enough Golden Beverage will take out their credit cards and give Rick Barber enough money to bloviate another day.

Olbermann’s deep-thinkers will study Barber’s campaign material and write Cow-School Keef another pathetic, unbalanced rant for him to deliver in a suitably pickled state of mental dysfunction. These two morons prop up one-another’s useless stupidity. Martha Roby will do Alabama, America and the world a favor by sending Rick Barber back to the fever swamps where he can go marinate in his bile. It’s too bad we haven’t found a big enough can of bug spray to dispel Keith Olbermann.