Show Us The Principals Or ‘Bama Will Show You The Door

“He kept on asking for it until he got it.” – Boot Hill Epitaph.

So was last night’s Alabama State Primary uprising anti-incumbent.? I think it’s a frame of reference question. From Parker Griffith’s, Troy King’s or Artur Davis’ perspective, why yes it was! (Gloat, Gloat, Gloat!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!)

When the question is examined from the voters’ perspectives, not so much. Most of Alabama’s incumbent politicians were not seriously opposed. Senator Shelby cruised, as did his anointed Democratic Opponent. Incumbent Congressmen in both parties saw off challengers before late diners finished their evening meals.

Only certain incumbents got put to the sword. The ones who kept on asking for it – until the voters delivered. Last night, it encourages me to report, the voters of my recenty-adopted home state delivered better than UPS or Fed-Ex. Neither Parker Griffith, Troy King nor, Artur Davis deserves to be trusted with the treasury of the local Jaycee Chapter, much less a national elected office.

We start with the now infamous Parker Griffith. Griffith enjoyed a long career as a local Democratic politician. As a Democratic State Senator, he became famous for cosigning “Conservative” legislation and preaching “Down-Home” values, only to let his own legislation die in committee or on the floor. Then Parker Gantry, Oops I mean Griffith, would then say “Aw shux, I sure tried.”

As a newly elected Congressman, he started out helping to vote in Nancy Pelosi as House Speaker, and then supporting S-CHIP. The public service unions ran pro-Parker Griffith ads just months after the 2008 election telling us all to thank Congressman Griffith for being such a refined jewel of a human being. Then Parker met the Stimulus Package.

In particular, Parker Griffith met his poll numbers with respect to his supporting said stimulus package. He voted “Nay” and claimed it as an act of courage. He experienced another epiphany when other Freshmen Democratic Congressmen got to do Town-Hall meetings and explain ObamaCare to the unwashed masses in Flyover Country. They became the targets of a frustrated public that condignly felt betrayed.

Parker then offered Nancy Pelosi a “Mental Health Ticket” and switched parties from jack-ass to pachyderm. He gave a tear-jerker of a speech that must have required an entire lemon from Publix. He attempted to reinvent himself as a “Conservative Defender of Alabama Values.”

He ran for the GOP nomination against the woman he helped vote in as House Speaker. Much to his demise (HAHAHAHAHA), his real opponent was Mo Brooks. According to radio-host Dale Jackson, Parker Griffith lacked the class and dignity to even deliver a concession speech. Even Al Gore and John Edwards could at least manage to get through that!

The other churlish Republican to be taken to the garbage along with Griffith was Attorney General Troy King. Troy King was famous for taking as much money from gambling industry concerns as Don King used to. The State of Alabama currently has a law against video poker machines and slots.

Troy King was elected to enforce Alabama Laws. Troy King was paid by gambling interests to do so selectively. Attorney General King became a rent-a-cop, not a chief law-enforcement officer. Alabama Republicans had the common sense and decency to make sure that if Troy King ever appears on COPS, he’ll be the pathetic low-life seated in the back of the cruiser.

I saved Artur Davis for last, and not just because that’s where he finished in the Democratic Party’s Gubinatorial Primary. This result was PRICELESS! CNN informed our state’s electorate that we had the chance to make history! The Alabama Democrats did make Davis history. Why is CNN whinging?

The Democratic Party had a choice between Hope and Change Light and a proven and predictable liberal public official. They took the proven liberal who will BS them less. They told the political spin machine that they didn’t want Alabama to be the poli-sci condescension spectacle for the next six months.

It was a thinly-veiled rejection of their own party’s sitting pResident. The Alabama Democrats said about the condescending and arrogant Barack Obama what Lynard-Skynard once said about the condescending cheese-dick named Neil Young. “A Southern Man don’t need him around, anyhow.” Sweet Home Alabama indeed!