National Debts and Other Useful Disasters

The Man-Made ATM Void known as Barack Obama’s economic policy has opened up new and fascinating opportunities in the growing field of crisis exploitation. Like a Conquistador from Spain, appalled that Montezuma and the Aztecs ripped out hearts on the altar of Quetzalcoatl, Barack Obama has just now learned about deficit spending. Boy does the prospect harry him!

President Barack Obama, calling current deficit spending “unsustainable,” warned of skyrocketing interest rates for consumers if the U.S. continues to finance government by borrowing from other countries.

“We can’t keep on just borrowing from China,” Obama said at a town-hall meeting in Rio Rancho, New Mexico, outside Albuquerque. “We have to pay interest on that debt, and that means we are mortgaging our children’s future with more and more debt.”

Any prescient observer knows that Barack Obama doesn’t have to worry about borrowing too much from China. The Chinese have manifold faults, investing in stupidity isn’t among them. Barack Obama cannot borrow from China. They have recently stopped lending to us.

You see the Chinese heard that President Obama intended to save America’s economy by spending on the Austin Frisbee Golf Course, the Chula Vista Dog Walk and the unsustainable public pensions in the highest taxing states in our union. Thus, they began to question the intellect of our new national CEO. Like any savvy insider, they ceased exercising their option to continue buying the stock.

Even the UN has erected a hedge against our profligate stupidity. I repeat, even the UN. They have stopped doing business in strictly dollar-denominated transactions. They now sense a currency devaluation risk not present in the US since The Carter Administration. They sense a level of deliberate financial enstupidification, amongst the US Democratic Party, not regnant since William Jennings Bryan delivered his infamous Cross of Gold Speech.

So, like the Crack habit of the police informant, Chris Rock so brilliantly portrayed in New Jack City, the US government has a monkey on its back. The current leader of the US Senate, Harry Reid, displayed the classic behavior of a man enslaved to the Bolivian Marching Powder. When President George W. Bush, in 2005, warned that maybe, just maybe, a $60Tr pool of entitlement liabilities wasn’t a good thing for America’s future, Senator Reid offered us up the following. (HT: Michelle Malkin.)

“Today’s report confirms that the so-called Social Security crisis exists in only one place — the minds of Republicans,” said Senate Democratic Leader Harry Reid of Nevada. “In reality, the program is on solid ground for decades to come.”

Now that the Democrats are actually responsible for what happens to the national safety net, they’ve just now discovered the aforementioned Temple to Quetzalcoatl. And Sec Treas. Geithner is shocked, I tell you, shocked, to see deficit spending going on in here. It turns out Social Security and Medicare would begin to rail in the ditch during a potential second Obama term in office. Sordid details follow below.

Social Security will start paying out more in benefits than it collects in taxes in 2016, a year sooner than projected last year, and the giant trust fund will be depleted by 2037, four years sooner, trustees reported.

Medicare is in even worse shape. The trustees said the program for hospital expenses will pay out more in benefits than it collects this year, just as it did for the first time in 2008. The trustees project that the Medicare fund will be depleted by 2017, two years earlier than the date projected in last year’s report.

Now that the fiscal equivalent of Lucifer’s Hammer looks set to collide with Earth under an Obama Administration, we have a problem. Now that Democrats may actually be in office, and get forced eat this $5 Foot-Long submarine sandwich of scatology, they think we may have overdone the budgetary nose-candy.

But fear not, trusty Obamanauts. Your supreme leader offers us a boogeyman we all can dance to. The budget deficit, in the pastel-hued drug trip land known as Obama World, is directly attributable to health care costs. You see nationalized health care wouldn’t cost anything, and therefore, we wouldn’t have to pay for it. The President shares with us this pathetic delusion below.

In his New Mexico appearance, the president pledged to work with Congress to shore up entitlement programs such as Social Security and Medicare. He also said he was confident that the House and Senate would pass health-care overhaul bills by August.
“Most of what is driving us into debt is health care, so we have to drive down costs,” he said.

Now of course, Barack Obama had health care reform in mind the second he heard about the entitlement crisis. It became an opportunity to extend the power of government. “Oh, Goody!” Cheered the President. “Government has a new and expansive role.”

Expanding government is really what this sudden new fascination with the deficit problem is all about. Government stupidity has become auto-reproductive. We can only cure the problems caused by stupid government with much more stupid government.

We’ll create a new and expensive bureaucracy to solve that problem of government over-expenditure. There’s no drug problem in existence that can’t be cured with another hit of the blow. After all, small pox stopped those Aztecs from performing human sacrifice in a jiffy.